American Idol Finale: And the Winner Is...

James Durbin!! Oh, wait, I may have have forgotten that he's not in the finals... How disappointing...
So, in reality, Scotty McCreery and Lauren Alaina and her sister/mom are anxiously waiting to see who will win season 10 of American Idol. I don't really care who wins. I just hope it's not Lauren (she's way too annoying).

So let's get on with it! I can't wait to see Paul McDonald and Twitch on the stage again. I've been waiting for this since they got voted off.

Why are both Lauren and Scotty dressed in all white? Are they trying to seem pure and clean? But he's Scotty McHottie...

Who is it going to be?

The Top 13 are singing Born This Way. I'm just so excited to see Paul! He looks so cute. God I love that man... His jacket is so frickin cool, and so is Twitch's jacket.
Yeah, I'm not even going to comment on the singing (it sounds terrible). But seeing Paul was the highlight for me, and everyone else, I'm sure.

James Durbin is performing with Judas Priest. How legendary is this?? Wow this must be so cool for Twitch!! I'm pretty much amazed they got Judas Priest for him. He's so in his zone, I love seeing our darling James like this. Plus, his jacket is rockin' and so is Judas Priest's singer's jacket. What an awesome performance (he really sounds good too)! I still can't believe America sent him home... Lame.
I kind of wish James were singing with Iggy Pop.

America, you'll miss me.

Montage of Randy Jackson, The Dawg. It was pretty hilarious. He's in it to win it!! What, what.

"Now let's bring out the guy who took us to church this season," says Ryan. Jacob "I Gyrate for Jesus" Lusk is singing with his hero. Jesus?! Wait...it's some gospel singer I don't know. I haven't missed this guy one bit (actually I take that back, I've missed mocking him). Jacob stuck to his regular shtick and made hilarious faces (while preaching to us). The only redeeming part of this song was that they were showing the number to donate to Red Cross for the tornado victims. That is really awesome.

Cabrams is performing! He looks rather sharp in his suit (but he grew out his hair and beard, not good). He's singing with Jack Black! This is so awesome and hilarious. This is a hilarious performance, and Casey and Jack actually sound rather good together. Especially when Casey starts scatting with Jack.
Best. Performance. Ever. (on American Idol)
I was so amused. I guarantee you I will watch that performance again after the show is over.

The Ladies of the Top 13 are performing next. Fun?
They have decided to destroy "Single Ladies." But, I can't help but feel like something is missing... Andy Samberg dancing in a leotard (that is necessary for any rendition of this song).
I guess this is actually a mash up of Beyoncé songs. All the girls look really skanky - stripper heels, short skirts, too many cut outs in shirts. My mom says they sound too "Glee," and my dad says "How could it not?" They really know what's up (seriously).
Whoa! Beyoncé is joining these lovely ladies to show (most of) them what talent really looks like. I love Beyoncé, she is too awesome for words.

Montage of Steven Tyler. He is nuts-o. They called him the loose cannon, but he was only like that during auditions and stuff, not the live shows. He is too funny.

Haley Reinhart is singing with Tony Bennett. My dad said, "He's about 180." Excellent. So this match-up is pretty awesome. I bet this wasn't Haley's first pick, but they sound really good together. Look, if I could've picked from the Top Three for who should win, it would be Haley (even from this performance, it's so clear she's more talented than Scotty and Lauren).

The most beautiful woman in the world, Jennifer Lopez, has a montage up next. She's excellent, and all the guys loved her (I'm pretty all the girls do too).

Lil Jon and the Top 13 girls! Guess who loves Lil Jon? Me. I know, it's shocking. But after seeing how awesome he is on The Celebrity Apprentice, I love this guy! That said, I'm not really a big fan of his music, but I like him as a person. This isn't entertaining with these two women I don't know. Weird.

Scotty da Body is singing "Live Like You're Dying" with Tim McGraw.

 This is gonna be awesome for our country boy (I want to see him wear a cowboy hat! Please). I realized Scotty has no clue what to do with his hands when performing, so he kind of does awkward things with them.
This is a really awesome performance. Scotty must be so excited that he's paired up with such a huge country star. I really like Tim McGraw.
My parents have been chatting about how he already has the makings of the star. It's very true! (He just needs to return to his fluting ways, it's undeniably awesome.)

We have that annoying announcer guy showing us clips of terrible singers we didn't see before. These people are hilarious.

Mark Anthony is performing. I'm guessing with JLo because she's not there. And I was right. I missed most of this performance, but it was pretty good for what I saw.

They're talking about being eliminated. Casey is hilarious, I adore this guy. Twitch and Cabrams "arguing" was super funny. I want to meet both of them. But not Pia, she's way too annoying (nice sash, sheesh).

Top 13 guys. Paul! I can hear his voice, and gosh I love him (sorry for all this gushing, I've just missed him). He's singing! My heart melted when he sang and did his charming dancing. Lordy I can't wait to see him in concert... Twitch sounds awesome, too. Why didn't this guy win? Please remind me?
I just remembered how much Paul hates choreographed dancing, and it's hilarious to watch him, because at times he just won't do it (or he'll look at the others to remember what to do).
Tom Jones is joining the boys. How fabulous. I could see him and Paul singing together. Speaking of PMcD, want to see a picture of him? You know you do.

How cool is this? Ford had the finalists invite their favorite teachers to the finale. That is super cool. And they got new Ford cars for their teachers! Really, really awesome. (As an aspiring teacher and someone who has been inspired by many teachers, this is amazing.)

Lady Gaga is performing live? This will be awesome. Look, I kind of love the Gagster, but what the eff is she wearing? That looks really heavy on her head. But, let me be honest, I really like this song... It's pretty catchy (and her voice is actually amazing!). She really knows how to put on a good show. This was awesome (and bizarre, but that's what makes her so appealing).

Lauren Alaina is up next with "Before He Cheats," probably singing with Miss Underwood.

Ugh, Lauren cannot sing this song correctly. I'm no music expert, but I know what sounds good and what doesn't. Carrie sounds amazing (as usual). To date, she's my second favorite Idol winner, David Cook is my first favorite. Or maybe they're tied...
This song was great. Why? Because Carrie Underwood was singing most of it.
Montage of the top 13 talking about Scotty and Lauren. Paul! They're all making fun of how old (or young) they are. Casey said we made him feel stupid, I'm sorry dear boy!

Beyoncé is singing again. And because she asked, I'll allow her to sing this song, "1 + 1" (or "One Plus One"). She informed us that doesn't know much about "algeba," and apparently not much about English, either. Look, I always adore Beyoncé because she's so awesome, but I had to mock her here.

I'm going to make a guess and say that I won't be seeing Paul sing with his idol (or his band, which I had secretly hoped for) tonight. Sad. Now there's really no reason for me to continue watching. But I will, for you, America.

Hey guess what! American Idol try outs are coming to my city. I think I'm going to try out, watch out for me.

I cannot believe they got U2. That is amazing. My friend just saw him in concert this past weekend and said it was awesome.
When Spiderman flew down, my dad said, "It's Bono!" And my mom said, "It is?" Classic. Spidey actually has a really good voice. But you can't match Bono, he has an amazing voice (it's just so stunning).

Steven Tyler is performing "Dream On." This is going to awesome! Guess what? If James hadn't been sent home in the top 4, he'd be on that stage with Mr. Tyler. But he's not. How disappointing. This was so awesome (I've always loved this song)!

Now it's time. The moment you've been waiting two hours (and a few months) for.
The winner is.......
Scotty McCreery
Thank the Sweet Lord Baby Jesus that Scotty da Body, Flute Extraordinaire is the winner of the 10th season of American Idol.
And guess who Scotty thanked first? The Lord. He got him to this place, not his fans, naturally.
Oh gosh, Scotty totally blew off Jack Black's hug. That was hilarious.

Whoa, whoa! I should add that it looked like Lauren Alaina kissed Scotty after they announced his win. I'm going to start the rumor that they're dating.

Congratulations, young man, you deserve this. You're very talented and will be a huge country star. Soak it all in!

I'm your winner, America. And you will love me.

So that's how it ends, folks. With Scotty McCreery as our winner. I'll see ya'll this summer on tour! Good night.

American Idol Top 3: Idol Post Durbin

Dear America,
I'm still pretty mad at you about what happened last week. You've really made it hard for me to trust you again. First, you break my heart by sending home Paul McDonald (I'll forever miss him), then you further break my heart by sending home James Durbin. I may or may not ever forgive you.
Love,
Me

I should officially start by saying that this post may be extra snarky. There is no one left to root for! A flute extraordinaire who doesn't know geography? No thank you. An annoying teenager who has a sister/mom? Double no thank you. A semi-talented, unique singer who isn't consistent? Maybe, thank you.
I'm sure you can tell that the only one I'm rooting for is Haley. If Scotty or Lauren wins, I'll be rather upset. (Just to be clear, I don't want any of these Idols to win, I'm just picking the best of the worst.)

Let's begin.

I liked the beginning montage of hometown visits. Scotty da Body was eating a donut, and seemed too cool for his fans. He isn't. Sheesh. I just told my parents that I want someone from hometown to be in the Top 3 American Idol next season so that I can go to the celebration.

Dude! They kept Durbin Day! Good. Twitch deserved to have a day dedicated to him (remember: Twitch is a term of endearment!).


First Round: Contestant's Picks

Beyoncé is their mentor. How rad is that? She was super cute. But guess what? Whenever I hear her song "Single Ladies," I think of this lovely clip:

Hahaha classic (I love Andy Samberg, I want to be like him one day. And Justin Timberlake is awesome).

Scotty da Body, Flute Extraordinaire

I really love this plaid shirt.

 "Amazed" by Lonestar
So, Beyoncé pretty much loves the young Scotty, and would break up with Jay-Z for him. Look at this country boy, Lady Gaga and Beyoncé both flirted with him.
Hey Scotty, stop wearing that plaid shirt every week. Wow I'm bored. Again, Scotty McCreery's voice is shocking to me, but it's not the best of his tonight. He over pronounces his words (that's the best way I can think of putting it), and he doesn't have much stage presence. Plus, in this performance, the background singers upstaged Scotty. Come on, man, step it up a bit! You won't win with just a decent song like that. I'm yawning.
Hey JLo...what does bravado mean? Because I couldn't hear whatever that is in his singing.

Lauren Alaina

"Wild One" by Faith Hill
Beyoncé pretty much just said Lauren is boring when she doesn't sing fun songs. Amen, sister! Lucy Lovelace needs to loosen up.
Why the giant earrings?? Stop that, Idol stylists! My mom and I think the stylist needs to be fired (I'll do it myself if I have to).
So let me start by saying the beginning wasn't great. She was a little shaky with her notes and it just sounded off. Lauren kicked it up in the middle, but then she faltered again. She doesn't have much confidence in her abilities, and it shows. This was a rather mediocre (verging on bad) performance. Hit the notes correctly!
Why the eff are the judges sugar coating her performance? They're sprinkling her with compliments she doesn't necessarily deserve. Jennifer seemed like she wanted to say something critical, but she was probably zapped by the producers so she wouldn't say anything honest.
My parents and I have agreed that we don't want Lauren Alaina to win. That would give me a heart attack.

Okay, Steven Tyler keeps mouthing random things to the camera. Weird.

Haley Reinhart
"What is and What Should Never Be" by Led Zeppelin
Beyoncé pretty much said that Haley probably won't do very well with this song, but that she might be able to pull it off. She also digs her raspiness and tone (as do I).
Whoa Haley sounds great at the beginning of this song. Her voice is stunning, and sounds beautiful a Capella. How cute! Her dad is playing the guitar, when she sang, "my daddy," she pointed to him. Adorable. Oh my gosh!! The poor thing fell! But she pulled it off pretty well. So, I know a lot of people are going to be critical of this performance. But I loved it. Haley has such a unique tone and a stage presence that helps her performance. I thought this was one of her best to date. That was great. And Haley's dad was rocking out. They were great together, and it was super neat she got to have that moment with her dad.
I loved that Randy and Steven stood up for her, how sweet. As Randy (and my dad) said, "You're in it to win it!"

Winner of Round One: Haley Reinhart
Congratulations, you get my stamp of my approval. Plus, she is the pick to win at my household (well, we want her to win).
Guess who agrees with me? Randy. And JLo. And...not Steven? I couldn't understand what he said.

Round Two: Jimmy Iovine's Picks

Scotty McCreery

Haha nice audition clip. They've polished  him up, no more sandals and longer hair = more young girls falling in love. Steven Tyler's comment was the best moment ever on this show.
Jimmy picked "Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not?" by Thompson Square. I'm sorry....who?? My dad pretended like he knew them (he doesn't).
Scotty is busting out the old guitar for this one. He sounds so ridiculously country in this song, and I guess it works for him. But if he continues making ridiculous faces, then people will get annoyed. I really hate how Scotty says P's, D's and other letters such as that. He's trying way too hard at the end to sound authentic country! He's Mr. Consistent. This may be good for him, but I don't like that.
I think the judges love him (duh). JLo wants him to shave his head again. Why? He'll look even more like Alfred E. Neuman.
Scotty's in it to win it! Thanks Randy Dawg.

Lauren Alaina
Audition clip: Guess what? This was pretty much the first and last time I was a Lauren fan. Actually I really only liked her when she was singing with Steven Tyler. As my dad pointed out, she hasn't sang that well since. And, uh, the judges were wrong about Lauren being the best of Nashville. I think we ALL know Paul McDonald was the best (obviously).
Jimmy's pick for Lauren: "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry. Guess who loves this song? Me. Guess who is tempted to fast forward through this in case she ruins it? Me, again.
Blech! Lauren made the beginning of this song boring. She doesn't sound nearly as good as the original, and that makes me upset. She can't hit the same notes as The Band Perry. Plus, Lauren's tone isn't nearly as interesting as the original. The ending was better, but she hit some notes harshly (like "knife" and "put" and etc.). I'm not a fan of this performance. Not very good, Missy. I realized that Lauren's not as polished or as soft as The Band Perry (I don't know how to word it, but she's almost harsh and soft at the same time).
JLo, what the eff? Lauren has the most beautiful tone of the rest of the contestants? Is that a joke? Because, uh, that's not true.
Lauren's sister/mom seemed to love that. She just can't stop smiling. Botox?

Haley Reinhart

Haley's audition was good. Hey, how cool that she was told to come back and audition again, and now she's in the top 3. This performance is exemplary of her true talent and uniqueness. I love her tone and attitude. I hope she wins.
Jimmy's pick (I want it to be Mumford & Sons): "Rhiannon" by Fleetwood Mac. Whoa, good choice, Jim Jim. Let's hear her bust it out.
Wow she sounds beautiful at the beginning. Her voice is haunting and stunning in the slower parts. So, the wind was kind of cheesy. After the win kicked in, I'm not as impressed with the rest of Haley's performance. There are parts I really liked, and I guess those would be the beginning and the end. Those last few words were good. My parents felt that Jim Jim picked the wrong Fleetwood Mac song (I guess I kind of agree), and it couldn't top the first performance. I agree, but I still liked it.
She's in it to win it!! Haley should really beat out these children.

Winner of Round Two: Haley Reinhart
Sorry, guys, but it's true. And it's not just because I'm her new biggest fan, I really think this.
My parents think Scotty. Dad said "He slayed it." Yeah, dad, you're too cool for school.

Beyoncé semi-premiered her new video for "Who Run This World (Girls)". I'm not even sure what to say. It's a really strange video, and I'm not a big fan of all the weird sounds in the background. But Beyoncé is an awesome dancer. She's empowering girls everywhere (I'm going to take over the world now).

Round Three: Judges' Picks

Scotty da Body
Let's take a trip to Garner with our boy Scotty. The judges chose "She Believes in Me" by Kenny Rogers.
A slow song? Really judges? Do you want him to lose? Sheesh. I love the orchestra in the background. So, the beginning of the song was good, I was actually entranced in his voice. But when Scotty kicks it into gear, I get a little annoyed. Again, I think it's because he powers through P's and D's and such. I don't know, America. Scotty will naturally be a huge country star, but his performances are blah (really blah). I could maybe listen to his record, but I might not be able to watch him. The upside? McCreery packed tons of emotion into this song.
My parents think JLo is cute. But she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
Just throwing this out there, but Scotty and his dad should do a duet of babylockthemdoors.

Lauren Alaina

I love prom.

Let's head on down to Rosfull, Georgia with Lauren and her sister/mom to find out her song selection. Giddy up! Their pick: "I Hope You Dance" by LeAnn Rimes. So, this is mine and my mom's song (yeah, it is), so she's gonna ruin this one for me, too.
Guess who's going to Prom for the second week in a row? Lauren Alaina!
Ugh, America, I almost don't want to listen to this. The beginning was terrible, she hit the notes all weird and I was disappointed. Then at the end, she tried to change up some of the notes by going high and low and kind of raspy (I think that's what it was). Lauren tried to be too original, and she wasn't. Sorry, honey. The other big problem? Lauren didn't back this performance with any emotion. I didn't feel the emotion in her voice, which you can feel in LeAnn Rimes' version.
Randy says Lauren slayed it and is in it to win it. But of course! All the judges are wrong. JLo, I doubt she won the round (I don't care if you got "the goosies"), and Steven, she is not comfortable with herself. Ya dumb.

Haley Reinhart

In it to win it.

 I hope you slay it, diggity dog! In Chicago, Haley learned her song is "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morissette. Do it up, chica.
So, it isn't starting off too strong on the stairs. Then it seemed like Haley forgot some of the words, but it's mostly because she had to sing so fast. But this girl definitely kicked it into gear in the chorus! She has so much energy, and she definitely did better at the end. I almost feel this was a cruel pick by the judges, because it must have been hard to sing those really fast parts. But she pulled it off! Haley fo sho nailed the ending. As the judges have repeated, the choruses were great. She has tons of soul and rocked it out.
She's in it to win it! It was beautiful! Golly gosh, judges, thanks for your awesome and helpful judges.

Winner of Round Three: Haley Reinhart or maybe Scotty McCreery
I figured I should throw some of da Body in there because it was solid (duh), but I just really like Haley.
See how Lauren didn't win a single round? That's because she ruined two of my favorite songs. Go home, Lauren! And take your damn sister/mom with you.

So, tonight worked pretty well in Haley's favor. Scotty da Body did well, because he's consistent and too good. Lauren showed all of her weaknesses and will hopefully get the boot.

That's it, America! I'm still mad at you, by the way. Without James, tonight was pretty boring. The most excitement we got was Haley tripping on stage.
Good night, ya'll.

American Idol 4/20 Recap: The Top 7

American Idol time!

I'm so glad to see Paul. I was afraid I'd have to go a Wednesday without seeing him. He didn't sound great, but he looked great. Him and those girls could start a band, P McD and The Spice Girls 2.0.


Scotty McCreery:
"Swingin'"
First of all, I LOVED the whole beginning montage. The other Idols also think it looks like he's holding a flute. Haley made me laugh.
"Scotty is doing what he does, because that's what he does." Gee, thanks Jimmy.
Onto the singing, it wasn't great. It was almost...not right for his voice. His voice was a little too slow for the beat of the song. Not to mention Scotty doesn't really have stage presence or the ability to move around the stage and stuff. Scotty is usually always consistent, but this week wasn't great. This song didn't really work with his voice, it almost overpowered it.
I very much agreed with JLo and Randy. It wasn't Scotty's best week, and he was in fact boring. Sorry Alfred E. Neuman, but you might have lost some votes (not to mention you were in the Death Spot).

Twitch:
"Uprising"
Casey, I hate the scarfs too. It looks like he's pooping it out. Haha.
Ooh I love this song by Muse! It's an excellent choice for him. I'm excited.
Wowsers, James is awesome. He really knows how to put on a show, and I can't wait to see him in concert. That song was practically made for him, arguably the best of his performances so far. His voice sounded great, and his intensity was great. (Oh James, yay!) I loved his transitions between the crazy high notes and then back to normal. That was very, very good and epitomized his talent.
The best part is that he's confident, but seems like a really cool guy. Especially since James hung out with Paul, it's upped his cred. He's my new pick to win.
I definitely agree with Jennifer and Randy, it will probably be the best of the night. And, yeah Steven, he's going in a T-Rex direction... Whatever the hell that means.

Haley Reinhart:
"An Adele Song"
Haha all the growling and the arm thing. I love James' comment, that made me laugh. By the way, it doesn't seem like the other contestants like Haley too much. Interesting.
Singing time. I definitely think Haley has found her niche. Oh my gosh I just remembered that I said I could see her as an Adele type! I am so good (seriously, I'm impressed with myself). You're welcome, Haley.
This song was great. The beginning was a little rough, but when it picked up, she did amazing. Her voice was perfect for this song, and I really liked the beat of it for her. Haley did a solid job, and I would definitely consider buying her Idol record for this one. You proved yourself, dear!
Good input from the judges, this time. She needs to establish herself apart from the artists she sings.

Jacob Lusk:
"Dance With My Father"
However could the deceased Luther look down on Jacob?
Hahaha he's the biggest diva!! Love it. I'm really digging these Idol montage opinion things (although I do wish they did this last week to see how much the others loved Paul).
Singing. Jacob is very off at the beginning, weird. This song is about praying?! Shocker! I don't know, I think this might have been Jacob's worst. But I'm feeling snarky right now. He bothers me.
Steven, who kissed you with that red lipstick? Ew. JLo says emotionally it was a great performance (so not vocally?). Randy says *if* you're here next week. Oh snap.
We miss the old Jacob who made it into the Top 24. He was so energetic and joyful, and he lost it. So sad.

I liked Ryan talking to Mark Ballas. We all know Pia was your favorite.

Cabrams:
"Hard To Breathe"
I love everyone wearing beards. I liked Casey wearing the beard and making fun of himself. This season of Idols is the best, they're all great (and frickin hilarious).
Holy cow Casey KILLED it. That was mind-bogglingly amazing. The beginning was awesome, with the almost spoken lyrics. Then he got really into it and sang amazing (plus his walking around the stage was hilarious to watch). He made this song very rock, and very Casey, it suited him perfectly. And when he scatted the harmonies of the guitar, I realized that's what I do whenever I listen to music. The best part? When he got all quiet and up in JLo's face and kissed her cheek. Priceless! Haha. He has so much fun up there. I have a renewed reason to watch American Idol!
Whoa Steven, there are children in the audience!
Oh my God...Ryan looks like an Amish Leprechaun. I am willing to bet $1 million that clip will be on The Soup.

Lucas Lanes:
"Closer" (this song annoys me enough as it is, great)
Lauren says he tries to be a lady's man. Hilarious. He's flirt with a piece of paper if he found out there was any estrogen in it. Jacob, funniest thing you've ever said.
"He looks like he could be a tool," says my mom. "Or if he could be on Jersey Shore," says my dad. That explains why I dislike him.
Okay, so first of all, why did Stefano decide to pick a song where he sings only 30% of the time? That was stupid. The beginning was terribly cheesy, that weird dance move was lame and creepy (remember to tone your flirtiness down). So after the beginning where he sang a verse, he danced around a lot and sang "Ohhh, yeah, ooooh." .... He should try to revive the boyband thing.
The judges...liked him? I thought this was about singing, not a lack thereof. I hope he goes home.

Lauren Alaina:
"Born to Fly"
Hahaha I love James and Casey making fun of her accent. And Scotty making fun of her talking a lot (who knew this guy was funny?).
Well...this wasn't Lauren's best song choice. It doesn't accurately showcase her talent and range. It's a little too hicky (in the words of my mom) for her. She could have picked other songs. Lauren should have done a Lady Antebellum song. Eh, I'm a tad disappointed. I was rooting for her since she was close with Paul.
On the upside, her outfit was very cute. But her tan was too orange. Again.
So, judges, this is supposed to be The Pimp Spot, and ya'll aren't doing that. But I definitely agree with JLo and Randy (not Steven, because I only understand what he says about 7% of the time).
I wish they had shown her sister/mom more! She's so fun and easy to mock.

So, worsters:
Jacob
Scotty
Stefano

That may or may not be my Bottom 3 for tomorrow.

Best:
James
Casey
Haley

They did really good tonight. My favorites were in that order. They were quite excellent!

Alright, America, time to rewatch my favorites (and some old Paul videos, I need my fix).
Toodle-ee-doo!

PS: Um... Steven?? "God says all men are created equal, but some are more equal than others." Then Randy says, "Yeah, that's me and Casey, right there." Do these two even know what that means??That's from George Orwell's "Animal Farm" and one of the pigs says, "All animals are created equal, but some are more equal than others." It was meant to degrade the other animals and used as an excuse to treat them terribly (like in the Soviet Union). So, not only was this not at all a compliment, it was a little rude to the other contestants, as well. Steven Tyler should have kept that tape over his mouth.