Miss USA, Glee, and Other Random Stuff You Don't Care to Know But Will Read About Anyway

Miss USA
Last night was the Miss USA Pageant. I've always said that there is nothing more patriotic than skinny woman prancing around a stage in bikinis while answering questions to try and sound smart. Ah, America. Here's the winner:

My self-worth is dependent on this crown!

Congratulations, Alyssa Campanella. You've made it.
Now, here's the girl who should have won, Blair Griffiths. She is from Denver, Colorado (represent) and is homeless (yes, homeless).

Oh well. I guess the Miss USA pageant and Donald Trump are heartless and don't care about helping those who are deserving and in need. Oh, wait... (that sounds about right)

Glee!
Whenever I say that, I hear the way they say it on the show in my head. It is quite amusing.
Unfortunate news for you Glee fans out there (which includes me, sometimes): The current cast is graduating in 2012. Yes, that's right. This is last year you will see Rachel, Quinn, Finn, Puck, Brittany, and Trouty Mouth! To be quite honest, I am beyond relieved that Quinn and her annoying voice and facial expressions will be out of here soon. But Brittany, Finn, and Curt? Who will make dumb comments? Who will I stare at on Glee? And, most importantly, who will I fantasize about being my gay friend (seriously, I wish Curt were real and would be best friend and we'd go shopping together)?


According to Ryan Murphy, this devastating event is happening because...

"The thing that I wanted to do and the cast wanted to do, we didn't want to have a show where they were in high school for eight years. We really wanted it to be true to that experience. We thought it would be really cool if we were true to the timeline."

No, Mr. Murphy, that is NOT cool. Who doesn't want to stay in high school for eight years? Wait, no one does... The plus side is Matthew Morrison and Jane Lynch are staying on the show (I pretty much only watch this show for Lynch's hilarious quips).

Artie can walk?!

50 Cent
The rapper. Big news from this talented (?) guy. He is writing a novel for teenagers! Guess who will be first in line to buy that book? Not me.
This book will hit stands in January, and is called Playground. It is about bullying, and 50 Cent said...

"I had a strong desire to write Playground because I wanted to explore how a kid becomes a bully. I drew on events from my own childhood and adolescence, but was excited to see the story take on its own life. This book would have been very helpful for me growing up and now that I have a teenage son, it is my goal that this will have a positive influence on all teenagers."

Look, everyone has dealt with bullies and it sucks. But I know how bullies get started (blame it on the home life, for real). And let's be real, I doubt 50 Cent actually wrote the book. Who knows? Maybe he did, but I'm willing to bet 50 cents (gosh I am clever) that there was a ghost writer or two.
Plus, he's been shot! Why doesn't he write a book about how to avoid that?

Amy Winehouse

 

It's great storage space.

Apparently, she got booed off stage quite a few times recently. Yesterday, in Serbia, she got booed off stage again after coming in late and forgetting the lyrics. Hence, her European tour has been cancelled.
Is any else just shocked that she had a tour? Or that anyone bought tickets to it (this is the most surprising part to me)?

American Idol, Stephen Colbert, and so much more

Dear Reader (if you're out there),
Sorry I didn't blog last week, it was just too hard. But I'm back for a quick post. I'll talk about whatever I feel like talking about.

Paul McDonald
First of all, Nikki Reed? For reals? I'm not sure if this rumor is true or false (I'm going to assume it's false for my own benefit), but I'm a little hurt by Paul if it's true. Whether he knows it or not, he is my Future Fiancé and is bound to me for life. But maybe it's just for PR and he really doesn't like Nikki, which I'm fine with.
Secondly, I sent Paul that fanmail I discussed two weeks ago! He called it, and I quote, "One of the best fanmails ever." Check it out (although, knowing who reads this, you've already seen this or were with me when I saw it):
http://plixi.com/p/90360560
Yipee!
Third, I want to hear P McD sing "Brown-Eyed Girl." Can you imagine? The hearts of American girls - and boys! - would melt. That would be awesome.

Stephen Colbert
First of all, HE'S AWESOME! Seriously. If I could, I would spend a whole day with Stephen, he is that awesome.
Second! I quoted him twice today in an essay for English. I patriotically declared that the penny should not be abolished because of American pride! Stephen would be proud. I quoted him with these profound quotes: "George Bush - great president, or greatest president?" (Just so it's clear, I had no reason to put that part in my paper, I was just so on the patriotic ball that Colbert's words were practically flowing out of me. Plus, I got a kick out of writing that.) Then I used this in the conclusion, which I think should earn me an A, "I firmly believe that this nation is the most American country the United States has ever seen." BOOM! Mind blown? I think yes. Colbert is possibly the most patriotic man alive, and I hope to be half the awesome he is today. When this essay is returned to me, I may or may not send it to Colbert. I want his praise.
Thirdly... On his show yesterday, he showed a clip of Republican Jon Kyl saying that Planned Parenthood shouldn't receive government funding because 90% of what the services they provide is abortion! Wrong. As Colbert so greatly pointed out, abortion is 3% of what they actually do. Then Kyl's people released a statement saying "It was not intended to be a factual statement." ....What?!?! Then why did he say it? I hate how Republicans can blatantly lie to the American people, then apologize or retract their statement later, and it's all okay. That is truly idiotic.
Anywhoo, Colbert has posting statements about Kyl on his Twitter all day, then says "NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement." These are hilarious! A few of my favorites:
-"Jon Kyl is an accomplished nude hula dancer. He is not welcome in Hawaii. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement"
-"Jon Kyl sponsored S.410, which would ban happiness. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement"
-"Citing religious reasons, Jon Kyl refuses to utter the number 8. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement"
-"Jon Kyl assassinated Archduke Ferdinand. #NotIntendedToBeAFactualStatement"

Haha! Colbert is awesome. I especially love the last one. My time in AP European History has helped me appreciate history jokes. I'll thank my teacher tomorrow.

Other Random Babblings
My cat squeaks. It annoys the crap out of me.
Watch "An Idiot Abroad." It is one of the funniest shows on television.
Today my friend and I decided that the worst part about summer is mosquitoes. Otherwise, summer is the bomb shizzle.
I hate Vote For The Worst. Do they really think P McD is the worst? Pfft.

Deep Thought of the Week
Why is socialism considered "bad" in America? Is capitalism really that great?

That's it for now. I think I'm going to try doing a "Deep Thought of the Week" every week. It may or may not really be a deep question. And I may or may not address my question later in the week.

Alrighty, toodle-oo!
Tune in tomorrow for my American Idol opinions!