BREAKING NEWS!!!

For me, maybe not for you. But apparently I missed something HUGE while I was in Mexico (darn vacations, always getting in the way).

Paul McDonald and Nikki Reed are engaged... When I first heard this, I wanted to laugh. They've been dating for, count them, THREE months. Who gets engaged after three months? Crazy people (sorry P McD, that's just the way it is), that's who. Oh, they also have matching tattoos on their fingers. That's so stupid. Take a gander at this couple that will likely last only another three months (also, who holds hands like that? Come on Paul, be a man).

This tattoo will be removed soon enough.

So there you have it, folks, the engagement of my Future Fiance to his temporary Fiancee. Paul is just confused at this time of his life, so I get it, he needs to fill that empty void in his heart (for now). Oh, I should add something hilarious that Nikki Reed said (no, not her repetition of "He's the one...he's the one." The one what?).

"He was signing to me the entire time I was getting ready today. Most people would be like, 'It's enough. Put down the guitar!' I'm like, 'Listen, if you want to sit on the couch and drink a beer and play guitar all day every day, I encourage it.'"

So now she's encouraging laziness. Come on, Nikki! If you're going to be his wife, you need to encourage him to make music, not to just play his guitar on the couch. He needs to get a Grand Magnolias album out there (for his fans).

Look, I'm sure you guys are concerned about my emotional and mental well-being upon hearing this news. I just want to assure you, I am fine, so please stop with all the sympathy cards and bouquets of flowers (although they're much appreciated). I'm trying to move on to other guys, until Paul sees his mistake and moves onto me (it's only a matter of time).
Here is my new list:
1) Prince Harry (good news, he's not getting married anytime soon. I think I'm going to take a trip to England and change his mind about that...)

2) Marcus Mumford (my love for Mumford & Sons has moved to something more, Marcus has captured part of my heart)

Come play the banjo with me.

3) Move to Mexico to Court Adolfo (sounds sketchy, I know, but it's all kosher. Ask my father)
4) Paul McDonald (he'll move back up once this engagement joke blows over)

Rachel, wait for me.

I will Paul, I will.

The End.