Katy Perry's Parody

You know that one chick, Katy Perry? You may have heard of her, huge pop star. Personally, I'm kind of sick of her music (in Mexico, one of the only three American songs they played on the radio was "Fireworks," and now I feel like my brain will explode if I hear it again), but I love parodies.

This new, hilarious video is called "Last Friday Night" where she mocks a ton of crap. '80s movies, teenagers, stupid parties, Facebook, Rebecca Black (she's actually in this video), Glee (Kevin McHale and Darren Criss have cameos), and other funny stuff are mocked in her video. Watch it, it is quite hilarious.
Watch it here!

Pretty funny, right?

Also, since Lily Allen reminds me of Katy Perry (they kind of look alike to me, and both of them also kind of resemble Zooey Deschanel, and my hair dresser looks similar to all of them), here's some news: She got married! And she's pregnant!
Congrats, Lily. It's like in The Office, when you got pregnant before you were married.
Here's a picture of Lily Allen and her husband Sam Cooper (yep, I have no clue who that is either, but apparently his dad played the ukelele at the wedding).

Guess whose dress this resmbles? (Kate Middleton's)

Congrats to the happy couple!

BREAKING NEWS!!!

For me, maybe not for you. But apparently I missed something HUGE while I was in Mexico (darn vacations, always getting in the way).

Paul McDonald and Nikki Reed are engaged... When I first heard this, I wanted to laugh. They've been dating for, count them, THREE months. Who gets engaged after three months? Crazy people (sorry P McD, that's just the way it is), that's who. Oh, they also have matching tattoos on their fingers. That's so stupid. Take a gander at this couple that will likely last only another three months (also, who holds hands like that? Come on Paul, be a man).

This tattoo will be removed soon enough.

So there you have it, folks, the engagement of my Future Fiance to his temporary Fiancee. Paul is just confused at this time of his life, so I get it, he needs to fill that empty void in his heart (for now). Oh, I should add something hilarious that Nikki Reed said (no, not her repetition of "He's the one...he's the one." The one what?).

"He was signing to me the entire time I was getting ready today. Most people would be like, 'It's enough. Put down the guitar!' I'm like, 'Listen, if you want to sit on the couch and drink a beer and play guitar all day every day, I encourage it.'"

So now she's encouraging laziness. Come on, Nikki! If you're going to be his wife, you need to encourage him to make music, not to just play his guitar on the couch. He needs to get a Grand Magnolias album out there (for his fans).

Look, I'm sure you guys are concerned about my emotional and mental well-being upon hearing this news. I just want to assure you, I am fine, so please stop with all the sympathy cards and bouquets of flowers (although they're much appreciated). I'm trying to move on to other guys, until Paul sees his mistake and moves onto me (it's only a matter of time).
Here is my new list:
1) Prince Harry (good news, he's not getting married anytime soon. I think I'm going to take a trip to England and change his mind about that...)

2) Marcus Mumford (my love for Mumford & Sons has moved to something more, Marcus has captured part of my heart)

Come play the banjo with me.

3) Move to Mexico to Court Adolfo (sounds sketchy, I know, but it's all kosher. Ask my father)
4) Paul McDonald (he'll move back up once this engagement joke blows over)

Rachel, wait for me.

I will Paul, I will.

The End.

News I Missed This Week

Since Blogger has been down for awhile, I may have missed posting some important information (really important, because you need to know).
Let's break it down.

Story #1: The Biebster's Tattoos
It appears that our little pop star is growing up and getting some tattoos. Here's a picture of one of them.

Jesus is on my side.

You're probably wondering what that lovely tattoo means. It is Hebrew for "Yeshua," otherwise known as "Jesus." Look, I'm all about personal expression and yadda yadda (I have nothing against tattoos, I think they can be pretty rad), but I think it is really stupid when people get tattoos of languages they don't speak. I'm pretty sure The Biebster isn't Jewish (because they don't believe that Jesus was the son of God, I used to be Jewish so I know), nor does he read or understand Hebrew. For all he knows, that could actually say "Devil."
Here is my reasoning as to why it's ridiculous for people to get tattoos in languages they don't speak or have any connection to: Let's imagine you (I'm pretending you're a white American) get a tattoo on your back that says "family" in Japanese. You probably got it because you like the symbols, they're cool looking. Now, imagine a Japanese man getting the word "family" tattooed on his back in English. Weird, right? That's my logic. Boom.

Story #2: Kim Kardashian is Engaged
She's engaged to some guy named Kris Humphries (I don't know who the eff this guy is, but he plays basketball or something). Here's a picture of her and her giant ring.

So, apparently this ring is super expensive. According to ABC news....

"Designed by Kardashian's friend, celebrity jeweler Lorraine Schwartz, the reality TV star's newest accessory includes a 16.5 carat emerald cut center stone flanked by a pair of 2-carat trapezoids. NBA baller Humphries reportedly dished out $2 million for the diamonds, to Kardashian's delight. "It's the most beautiful thing I have ever seen," she told People. 'It's perfect.'"

Yes, you read that right, $2 million for an engagement ring (I want to see a normal person spend even close to that much on a wedding ring) that she will probably only wear for a few months. How much will the wedding ring cost, $4 million? But then again, she'll probably only wear that one for a few months too... Harsh, but true. Kim and Kris have only been together for 6 months, so using my marriage theorem.... They'll last about 3 months.

Story #3: Tony Romo is Marrying Candice Crawford
"Who is Candice Crawford?" You must be asking yourself. According to my sources (and by that, I mean TMZ), Candice Crawford is Chace Crawford's little sister. They are getting married in a few hours, according to my schedule, in Texas. Here is their massive tent in which they will be wed.

And here is a picture of the lovely couple.

She looks just like Carrie Underwood. Not a coincidence.

I'm kind of hoping that Tony wears his football uniform instead of a suit. That would make for one memorable wedding! Good luck to this couple, and may their marriage last as long as Tony's career (assuming his career lasts awhile, although I could actually care less about either).

Last, Story #4: Apparently, Scotty isn't Dating Lauren...
But she just might be dating him. According to the NY Daily News, Scotty said,

"Everybody keeps asking me about the smooch. She told me she was gonna do that before the show. She's a character, isn't she? We're really close friends. I don't know about the dating part. She's just being funny. She's such a sweetheart. We've grown so close. It's a special relationship we have."

It sure is special, Scotty. It sure is. Especially considering what Lauren Alaina said about the dating speculation.

"I kissed him on the lips, yeah. He might be my boyfriend, he might not be my boyfriend. I'll never tell! Secret's safe with me!"

So this is clearly a one-way relationship (Lauren Alaina just really wants to make her sister/mom proud by dating a good, Christian, Southern boy). I broke the news on Wednesday night about their possible romance, and I'm happy to say that I just might be right (in fact, I probably am right). Just look at this young, Idol couple.

This is our "special relationship."

 What? You need more proof? Here ya go. Here are some picture they took backstage.

Done and done.


Enjoy the news!