News I Missed This Week: From Babies to Other Random Stuff

Well, as I said before, I was in Mexico this past week, and I was unable to do up-to-date blogging, so I did pre-posted blogs (which I'm sure you enjoyed). But wipe away your tears, because I'm back. Let's get the ball rolling.

Babies
Who doesn't love babies? No one. And who loves babies the most? Hollywood. Because I swear to Jesus H. Christ another celebrity baby is spit out every week or so. The best part is that celebrities have babies, then hire nannies to take care of them (this means they only have this child responsibility for 9 months, then they're done. If only it were really that easy). So let's see which celebrities welcomed a new little one into the world this week...
Joey McIntyre (of New Kids on the Block, for those like me who had to Google him): Kira Katherine
Pink and Carey Hamilton: Willow Sage
Jennifer Connelly and Paul Bettany: Agnes Lark (joining big brothers Kai and Stellan)

Guess who had no idea that Connelly was pregnant? Me! I had no clue. I love Connelly and Bettany, and I was so shocked to learn they had a baby. But congrats to them! And double congrats for picking an excellent name (Agnes isn't my favorite, but I like it. Agnes Lark is just wonderful, and in my opinion ten times better than Kira and Willow).

This shot is just proof for myself that she was actually pregnant.

Pink had her first child, and gave her a totally trendy name. But hey, what the heck! As a celebrity, you can name your child Diva Thin Muffin for all anyone cares (true story, look it up).

More Babies
Two things I love: babies (duh, see above) and Neil Patrick Harris. Apparently, Harris and his partner take festive photos of their twins, Gideon and Harper, every month. Here is a sampling.

 

If I should ever have twins, I am doing this. Seriously. Neil Patrick Harris has a good idea with this embarrassing/funny pictures thing. I knew he was awesome for a reason.

Teen Mom
If you're like me and enjoy watching trash TV about teen moms, then you'll know exactly what I'm talking about here. Let's begin with Amber Portwood, the (not so) lovely mother of the (not so) cute Leah Leann (not a joke). This crazy lady abused her boyfriend in front of her child and cameras, and was ordered to court. Apparently, they let her off easy. Instead of jail time and a $10,000 fine, here are her punishments (according to Ace Showbiz):

"Entering a plea that kept her off jail, she is put on two years probation by the Indiana judge who also ordered that she undergoes 30 days of inpatient therapy. Amber is also to obtain her high school diploma and put $10,000 in a college fund for her 2-year-old daughter."

I was hoping for jail time, and maybe even some deal with custody. Watch the show, she's a terrible mother (hence why teenagers should not have children, they're stupid).

Alec Baldwin For Mayor
Awesome. Apparently, Alec Baldwin is considering running for mayor after New York Mayor Bloomberg's term is over (how do you think this will work out?). I think Baldwin is awesome on 30 Rock, but golly gosh, how will I ever ascertain how he will do as mayor? I know! Let's ask Chevy Chase. Chevy.

"I don’t think (running) is going to happen, I don’t see him wanting that necessarily, unless he thinks that can be a road to the presidency or something, but I don’t see that happening at this time in his life. He’s doing pretty well already, but I tell you this. This guy’s really intelligent and articulate and knows what he’s talking about."

Awesome, now I know who I'll be voting for (should I ever move to New York). But seriously, my strong opinion is that celebrities should NEVER be in politics. It didn't end well for The Governator or The Donald. Take a hint, The Baldwin (or one of them).

More Krazy Kim Kardashian
See what I did there? I'm so clever.
Now that Kris Humphries (again, who?) has proposed with his mega-watt ring, Kim feels the need to protect herself with prenuptial agreements. Apparently, everything Kim has now is protected (including her home in Beverly Hills and all the money she's made), and anything she makes during the marriage she will keep should it fail. So, if it ends in divorce, Humphries gets nothing but a lot of tabloid coverage.
He probably should have adjusted that to have at least gotten back the diamond since it cost so much darn money. But whatever, celebrities are stupid.

We'll last longer than Paul McDonald and that Nikki girl.

So there's that.

Enjoy the news!

BREAKING NEWS!!!

For me, maybe not for you. But apparently I missed something HUGE while I was in Mexico (darn vacations, always getting in the way).

Paul McDonald and Nikki Reed are engaged... When I first heard this, I wanted to laugh. They've been dating for, count them, THREE months. Who gets engaged after three months? Crazy people (sorry P McD, that's just the way it is), that's who. Oh, they also have matching tattoos on their fingers. That's so stupid. Take a gander at this couple that will likely last only another three months (also, who holds hands like that? Come on Paul, be a man).

This tattoo will be removed soon enough.

So there you have it, folks, the engagement of my Future Fiance to his temporary Fiancee. Paul is just confused at this time of his life, so I get it, he needs to fill that empty void in his heart (for now). Oh, I should add something hilarious that Nikki Reed said (no, not her repetition of "He's the one...he's the one." The one what?).

"He was signing to me the entire time I was getting ready today. Most people would be like, 'It's enough. Put down the guitar!' I'm like, 'Listen, if you want to sit on the couch and drink a beer and play guitar all day every day, I encourage it.'"

So now she's encouraging laziness. Come on, Nikki! If you're going to be his wife, you need to encourage him to make music, not to just play his guitar on the couch. He needs to get a Grand Magnolias album out there (for his fans).

Look, I'm sure you guys are concerned about my emotional and mental well-being upon hearing this news. I just want to assure you, I am fine, so please stop with all the sympathy cards and bouquets of flowers (although they're much appreciated). I'm trying to move on to other guys, until Paul sees his mistake and moves onto me (it's only a matter of time).
Here is my new list:
1) Prince Harry (good news, he's not getting married anytime soon. I think I'm going to take a trip to England and change his mind about that...)

2) Marcus Mumford (my love for Mumford & Sons has moved to something more, Marcus has captured part of my heart)

Come play the banjo with me.

3) Move to Mexico to Court Adolfo (sounds sketchy, I know, but it's all kosher. Ask my father)
4) Paul McDonald (he'll move back up once this engagement joke blows over)

Rachel, wait for me.

I will Paul, I will.

The End.