Tuesday, September 6, 2011

America's Got Talent: The Terrific (?) Ten

Hello, America and other countries, I'm back. I hope you didn't miss me too much in my absence (that's a lie, I hope you missed me so much it was devastating), but I've returned just for you, despite my busy schedule.

Let's get started with a new episode of America's Got Talent. It's the Final Ten, and I never thought they'd actually get this far.
Unfortunately, my dear, darling Daniel Joseph Baker went home a few weeks ago, and it made me very sad. I almost didn't come back.

First Michael Grimm is performing. I don't really care for this guy, he's nothing special in my eyes (or ears, whatever).

Miami All Stars
Yes, there was a chicken...
They made it? I'm not a huge fan of dance crews, unless they are absolutely amazing and unique. They really aren't all that amazing or unique.
I think the whole football and cheerleader theme is a little bit weird, and it makes me think of High School Musical or Glee or something. I don't know. I think all the lifts and tricks are cool, but otherwise I'm not overly impressed. Not to mention there is way too much going on on the stage (my attention span can only handle so much). I didn't care for them, sorry!
Piers X'd them because he didn't care for the cheer leading thing, and I'm with him. Me and Piers have very similar opinions, because we're both awesome. Sharon and Howie still kind of enjoyed it, but disliked the theme.
Overall Grade: C-

Lys Agn├Ęs
My mom and I are both bothered by this girl, and I'm not completely sure why. The only reason I have an inkling of support for her is because she's from Colorado (represent).
Why does she have chopsticks on her eyelids? And why does she sound like a man? Why is she standing in a giant dream catcher? These questions and more will most likely never be answered. This song is frightening me and my poor cat, who just dashed out of the room. I understand that people really seem to like her, but I don't. I just don't get it!!!
Sharon said she sounded like crap when singing in the low register (how very true). Howie didn't care for her risk. This is the one time I ever disagree with Piers...he likes her.
Overall Grade: F

Landon Swank
It's Swanky! I like this guy because of my awesome nickname for him. I hope his hot fiance is assisting him tonight, or else he won't get voted through, guaranteed.
Nick says I shouldn't try this at home (don't tell me what to do!)... So first he changed a goldfish cracker into a goldfish by eating it. Then he stuck his hand into an aquarium, but the fish disappeared, and water spilled out. All of that was cool, but then he finished by laying on a couch?! But what happened to the fish??
All of the judges loved it. Piers wondered how he did it, and I was confused too. But it was still rad.
Overall Grade: B

Anna Graceman
I always want to be impressed by this girl, but every time that I've seen her, I haven't been blown away. Like Swanky, she's from Alaska.
Let me start by saying she's wearing a horrid dress. And why is she standing in a patch of grass indoors? So she has decided to not play the piano tonight, which I don't think was a good choice (it adds to her talent level). Anna's voice sounds pretty good, but she doesn't keep my interest. The only times I actually want to listen are during the choruses, otherwise it's a little boring because she misses notes. Anna is good, but not great. I'm torn. I think it was just a bad song choice.
Piers and I have similar opinions, like that she did miss some notes. Sharon was still lovey dovey toward her. Howie likes her and all, but not this song.
Overall Grade: B-

Silhouettes
There is a nearly blind girl on this team, and other sick kids. My mom pointed out that they're going for the sympathy vote, which is unnecessary; just the fact that they're from Colorado (represent) and have a cool act should be reason enough to vote.
I always find their act hard to recap, but pretty much they showed different aspects of life. It was pretty radical, and they always impress me.
Sharon loved this so much, she was shouting over the audience. Howie said they will make it to the final 4. Piers thought the story they told was pretty awesome. He said it makes people proud to be American, but he's British...
Overall Grade: A- Gotta love this act.

Smage Bros. Riding Show
Relax, you won't completely lose your body parts.
I love these guys! And, let's face it, Troy Smalls "The Unsung Hero" is pretty hot and a daredevil. He puts his life on the line to get his friends famous! That's true friendship.
So these guys are practically skateboarding on their motorbikes, all the while coming close to injuring poor Troy (in fact, once it looked like he got hit in the head). One of the brothers grinded on a rail! The scariest part of the performance was when Troy lay spread eagle on the floor. My first thought, "He's gonna lose his balls!!" When, in fact, one of them got his leg.
Howie loved them. Piers thought they were exciting, but not as good as last round (which I missed, so I can't atest to that). Sharon disagreed with Piers; she loved it.
Overall Grade: A  Love these guys!

PopLyfe
I hate them. They are just another teen pop band, and I hate that kind of music. I am no longer in elementary school, when Backstreet Boys and NSync were awesome. I don't want to watch them, I want it to end!
They're singing Michael Jackson?! Are they nuts or something? My mom said she has a good voice, but I told her she's not allowed to like them (the only music acts I liked on this show were Daniel Joseph Baker and The Fiddleheads). This is so cheesy and way too fast, I can hardly stand to listen to this. My mum says the girl looks like Prince! I don't like this at all...nope, no way.
Piers stood for them?! What is going on between us tonight? They all seemed to love it, and I don't understand why. I didn't enjoy it one bit. But then again, I'm kind of a music snob (hate to admit it) and I hate 98% of pop music.
Overall Grade: C- I think my issue is that they spelled life wrong...

West Springfield Dance Team
Ugh, another dance team... I don't have the patience for this tonight!! Seriously, why must I watch a gothic dance routine?
Mum has always said if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all...seeing as I don't follow that advice anyway, here we go. This was dumb. It started out ridiculous and creepy, then they started dancing to dubstep (which is terrible music). The whole story was confusing and fed into the zombie craze, which I hate. The dancing wasn't spectacular, and I was bored. And annoyed, mostly with the horrid music.
Sharon feels they're very predictable. Howie didn't care for it very much. Piers X'd them (as I would have), and said they should have done something different and the choreography was boring.
Overall Grade: F

Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr.
Does this guy not have the coolest name ever?! It sounds like the name of an old British Lord or something... Landau is pretty rad.
My mum and I are always shocked when that 50s musical voice comes out of his mouth. He belongs in "Singing in the Rain," or in Las Vegas (can't you see him being a new Barry Manilow?). Not only is his voice great, but so is his story, which makes him that much more appealing. This was an excellent performance.
Landau received a standing ovation! All of the judges love him. Let's hope he makes it through.
Overall Grade: A

Team iLuminate
Um, excuse me, group, your team name is missing an L. It should be iLluminate, which makes me think of llamas (weird? Maybe). The cancer girl has an eye of Horus tattoo! How rad.
I think this act is bizarre, and I don't really get the appeal. Then again, I am a strong opponent of major uses of technology (I miss the days when there was just one kind of iPod...). This performance is strange, but they'll probably make it to the finals. I don't have much else to say, but it's mostly because I'm so over this show.
This group received a standing ovation, and Piers loved it (what's up with our disagreements?). Sharon and Howie also loved it.
Overall Grade: C

It's over! Here's my predictions for the finals:
Silhouettes
Smage Bros. Riding Show
iLuminate
PopLyfe

If I'm wrong, then I'm going to come back and change my predictions so that it appears I was right all along.
On that note, toodles!

No comments:

Post a Comment