America's Got Talent: Announcing the Final Four

So, not much is going down on the recap tonight. I mean, I know they're announcing the four final acts, but let's be honest...we're all ready for this show to end.
Anyway, let's review my predictions.
Silhouettes
Smage Bros. Riding Show
iLuminate
PopLyfe

I hope I'm right (if only to keep up with my self-proclaimed prediction accomplishments)!

First Act to Move On: Team iLuminate

So, it appears that I'm now one for one, which makes me so mad, since one of my guesses was sent home! I was really starting to enjou Mr. Troy Smalls, and now he's just gone. Also, my streak has been ruined at the beginning.
But, hey, congrats to the neon lit group.

Second Act to Move On: PopLyfe

I knew it, unfortunately. I'm not a fan of wannabe teen pop bands (especially those who walk off stage before they're dismissed). Swanky was sent packing after possibly killing a fish last night. So now I'm two for two, and waiting to see the act I missed.

Before the next results, Il Divo performs and I hate opera so much. And when opera is in the form of a quartet, it's even worse.

Third Act Moving On: Silhouettes

Three for three, America! And I'm super pumped that an act from Colorado moved on. They are carrying the weight of the whole state on their shoulders for the finals. Good luck, golden clad warriors (can they be called that?).

Final Act to Move On (I hope it's Landau!!): Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr.

Yay! Since I almost chose him yesterday instead of Smage Bros. (lesson learned: always listen to my mum), I'm going to count my prediction correctness as 3.5 for 4. I'm glad he made it, this man deserves it.

So there you go, folks. Tune in next week for the final four performances. Until then (if not sooner)!

America's Got Talent: The Terrific (?) Ten

Hello, America and other countries, I'm back. I hope you didn't miss me too much in my absence (that's a lie, I hope you missed me so much it was devastating), but I've returned just for you, despite my busy schedule.

Let's get started with a new episode of America's Got Talent. It's the Final Ten, and I never thought they'd actually get this far.
Unfortunately, my dear, darling Daniel Joseph Baker went home a few weeks ago, and it made me very sad. I almost didn't come back.

First Michael Grimm is performing. I don't really care for this guy, he's nothing special in my eyes (or ears, whatever).

Miami All Stars

Yes, there was a chicken...

They made it? I'm not a huge fan of dance crews, unless they are absolutely amazing and unique. They really aren't all that amazing or unique.
I think the whole football and cheerleader theme is a little bit weird, and it makes me think of High School Musical or Glee or something. I don't know. I think all the lifts and tricks are cool, but otherwise I'm not overly impressed. Not to mention there is way too much going on on the stage (my attention span can only handle so much). I didn't care for them, sorry!
Piers X'd them because he didn't care for the cheer leading thing, and I'm with him. Me and Piers have very similar opinions, because we're both awesome. Sharon and Howie still kind of enjoyed it, but disliked the theme.
Overall Grade: C-

Lys Agnès

My mom and I are both bothered by this girl, and I'm not completely sure why. The only reason I have an inkling of support for her is because she's from Colorado (represent).
Why does she have chopsticks on her eyelids? And why does she sound like a man? Why is she standing in a giant dream catcher? These questions and more will most likely never be answered. This song is frightening me and my poor cat, who just dashed out of the room. I understand that people really seem to like her, but I don't. I just don't get it!!!
Sharon said she sounded like crap when singing in the low register (how very true). Howie didn't care for her risk. This is the one time I ever disagree with Piers...he likes her.
Overall Grade: F

Landon Swank

It's Swanky! I like this guy because of my awesome nickname for him. I hope his hot fiance is assisting him tonight, or else he won't get voted through, guaranteed.
Nick says I shouldn't try this at home (don't tell me what to do!)... So first he changed a goldfish cracker into a goldfish by eating it. Then he stuck his hand into an aquarium, but the fish disappeared, and water spilled out. All of that was cool, but then he finished by laying on a couch?! But what happened to the fish??
All of the judges loved it. Piers wondered how he did it, and I was confused too. But it was still rad.
Overall Grade: B

Anna Graceman

I always want to be impressed by this girl, but every time that I've seen her, I haven't been blown away. Like Swanky, she's from Alaska.
Let me start by saying she's wearing a horrid dress. And why is she standing in a patch of grass indoors? So she has decided to not play the piano tonight, which I don't think was a good choice (it adds to her talent level). Anna's voice sounds pretty good, but she doesn't keep my interest. The only times I actually want to listen are during the choruses, otherwise it's a little boring because she misses notes. Anna is good, but not great. I'm torn. I think it was just a bad song choice.
Piers and I have similar opinions, like that she did miss some notes. Sharon was still lovey dovey toward her. Howie likes her and all, but not this song.
Overall Grade: B-

Silhouettes

There is a nearly blind girl on this team, and other sick kids. My mom pointed out that they're going for the sympathy vote, which is unnecessary; just the fact that they're from Colorado (represent) and have a cool act should be reason enough to vote.
I always find their act hard to recap, but pretty much they showed different aspects of life. It was pretty radical, and they always impress me.
Sharon loved this so much, she was shouting over the audience. Howie said they will make it to the final 4. Piers thought the story they told was pretty awesome. He said it makes people proud to be American, but he's British...
Overall Grade: A- Gotta love this act.

Smage Bros. Riding Show

Relax, you won't completely lose your body parts.

I love these guys! And, let's face it, Troy Smalls "The Unsung Hero" is pretty hot and a daredevil. He puts his life on the line to get his friends famous! That's true friendship.
So these guys are practically skateboarding on their motorbikes, all the while coming close to injuring poor Troy (in fact, once it looked like he got hit in the head). One of the brothers grinded on a rail! The scariest part of the performance was when Troy lay spread eagle on the floor. My first thought, "He's gonna lose his balls!!" When, in fact, one of them got his leg.
Howie loved them. Piers thought they were exciting, but not as good as last round (which I missed, so I can't atest to that). Sharon disagreed with Piers; she loved it.
Overall Grade: A  Love these guys!

PopLyfe

I hate them. They are just another teen pop band, and I hate that kind of music. I am no longer in elementary school, when Backstreet Boys and NSync were awesome. I don't want to watch them, I want it to end!
They're singing Michael Jackson?! Are they nuts or something? My mom said she has a good voice, but I told her she's not allowed to like them (the only music acts I liked on this show were Daniel Joseph Baker and The Fiddleheads). This is so cheesy and way too fast, I can hardly stand to listen to this. My mum says the girl looks like Prince! I don't like this at all...nope, no way.
Piers stood for them?! What is going on between us tonight? They all seemed to love it, and I don't understand why. I didn't enjoy it one bit. But then again, I'm kind of a music snob (hate to admit it) and I hate 98% of pop music.
Overall Grade: C- I think my issue is that they spelled life wrong...

West Springfield Dance Team

Ugh, another dance team... I don't have the patience for this tonight!! Seriously, why must I watch a gothic dance routine?
Mum has always said if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all...seeing as I don't follow that advice anyway, here we go. This was dumb. It started out ridiculous and creepy, then they started dancing to dubstep (which is terrible music). The whole story was confusing and fed into the zombie craze, which I hate. The dancing wasn't spectacular, and I was bored. And annoyed, mostly with the horrid music.
Sharon feels they're very predictable. Howie didn't care for it very much. Piers X'd them (as I would have), and said they should have done something different and the choreography was boring.
Overall Grade: F

Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr.

Does this guy not have the coolest name ever?! It sounds like the name of an old British Lord or something... Landau is pretty rad.
My mum and I are always shocked when that 50s musical voice comes out of his mouth. He belongs in "Singing in the Rain," or in Las Vegas (can't you see him being a new Barry Manilow?). Not only is his voice great, but so is his story, which makes him that much more appealing. This was an excellent performance.
Landau received a standing ovation! All of the judges love him. Let's hope he makes it through.
Overall Grade: A

Team iLuminate

Um, excuse me, group, your team name is missing an L. It should be iLluminate, which makes me think of llamas (weird? Maybe). The cancer girl has an eye of Horus tattoo! How rad.
I think this act is bizarre, and I don't really get the appeal. Then again, I am a strong opponent of major uses of technology (I miss the days when there was just one kind of iPod...). This performance is strange, but they'll probably make it to the finals. I don't have much else to say, but it's mostly because I'm so over this show.
This group received a standing ovation, and Piers loved it (what's up with our disagreements?). Sharon and Howie also loved it.
Overall Grade: C

It's over! Here's my predictions for the finals:
Silhouettes
Smage Bros. Riding Show
iLuminate
PopLyfe

If I'm wrong, then I'm going to come back and change my predictions so that it appears I was right all along.
On that note, toodles!

America's Got Talent: Results of July 27th

Here we go, America. It's time to send home 2/3 of the third dozen of performers. (I apologize for that truly terrible way of saying 8 performers will head home in shame tonight.) Let's get started!

To review, here were my predictions for the four moving on:
Professor Splash
Seth Grabel
Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr.
Lys Agnes

Oh my good lord... I must say that I hate when advertising is included in TV shows. Our world has become so full of advertisements and makes me mad! It's even worse when it's for some dumb kid's movie about small, blue creatures. I'm talking about the Smurfs, by the way.

Let's move on...
The First Act Moving On: Gotcha!
None of the first three acts they pulled onstage are moving on. I have to say that I'm rather pleased because at first I was worried that my guessing streak would be ruined from the start. Luckily, that didn't happen.

Stevie Nicks performed next. I didn't care, so I skipped through it (also, I was on the phone with and I convinced my best friend Laura Mora to write on her whiteboard using her feet. She told me that she's right-footed).

First Act to Move On (for real this time): Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr.

But wait, there's more!
Second Act to Move on: PopLyfe

Maybe if America listened to Adele, we wouldn't be here.

So far I'm one for two. Damn you, PopLyfe, for not only ruining my streak but also for getting America to vote for you after I'm certain you ruined that Adele song! I hate teen pop bands...

Third Act to Move on: Lys Agnes

Aaand she's back! Now I'm two for three tonight (even if I think that number should be higher). I think that Lys needs to get her hair cut, and America obviously likes Colorado. So far they've voted through two Coloradans, and hopefully Professor Splash is the third from my (awesome) state.

To break up the monotony, they've brought back one of the top three acts from last year, Defying Gravity. I pretty much never watched this embarrassing excuse for a talent show last year, but I've seen this guys and they're so cool. I enjoy acts that risk their lives or do things to trip my mind (preferably both, though). Also, some of these guys are pretty cute when they're not wearing a block bodysuit.

More Stevie Nicks?! Look, I already saw her on another terrible NBC talent (or lack thereof) show, I don't need to see her again. I'm looking at you, The Voice.

I have to preface this next elimination by saying if the Shabbot Boys move on, I'm going to hunt down the people who voted for them. I know I said this yesterday, but I feel this cannot be iterated enough.
Classic moment just happened... When Nick Cannon said, "The next act going home is" (insert unnecessarily long pause here) "The Sh'Boss Boys." One of the little boys started cheering until another one told him they were leaving, and he immediately looked devastated. Sad, but classic.

This last one was up to the judges, between Professor Splash and Seth Grabel.
Fourth Act to Move on: Professor Splash

America follows Rachel's motto: Entertain me or die trying.

I didn't really care too much about this one. Either way my streak for the night would be three for four (damn you, PopLyfe).

There you have it, folks. Tune in next week for more AGT (I just learned about this cool nickname for the show). Adios!

America's Got Talent: The Third Dozen Perform

Okay America, let's move onto the third dozen of the top 48. Every week I was hoping to come up with a new way to say 12, but it's kind of hard to do so. Anywhoo, let's get started with the show that my Potato (dad) compares to "a terrible school talent show."

Summerwind Skippers

First of all, what a lame name. Second of all, jump roping? Okay...
Let me be honest here, I've always been jealous of jump ropers. I've never been able to jump rope very well, and these guys are doing tricks. But nothing about this act excited me. It's jump roping, for goodness sake (how exciting can that get?). The music was annoying, all they did was jump some rope, and I wasn't a big fan.
Piers started out as a cynic, but said they made "skipping sexy." Um....
Overall Grade: C-

Sh'Boss Boys

We have no talent, beside being super adorable.

My mom said, "Oh, the shabbot boys?" If only... So these are three little boys whose are being exploited by their parents by rapping. Nothing is better than little kids rapping (actually, I can think of many things that are better, like even the jump roping).
If I'm not mistaken, it appears that this act is a joke. Someone told these adorable little boys to inhale tons of helium before performing. I cannot believe that this is actually happening. This is the worst thing that I've ever had the misfortune of watching/hearing.
All of the judges sidestepped the fact that they were absolutely terrible and just commented on how adorable they are. We all know how adorable they are! That's the only reason they made it through the first round.
Overall Grade: D- If they make it through to next week, I will track down whoever voted for them and yell at them (I don't want to be too violent).

Mauricio Herrera

Someone please remind me why this guy is still in the competition? I guess it's because he lost weight (that's what he told everyone).
Mauricio enters the stage wearing a horribly tacky outfit that has way too much leather. My mom has commented that she doesn't think he knows they're mocking him. I'm not sure how he doesn't know, it's rather obvious. This is such a horrid performance, I went back to up the grade of the Sh'Boss Boys just because this was worse.
Both Sharon and Piers X'd him. Is that surprising to anyone? (I'm just surprised that Howie didn't also X him.) Ugh that was so terrible.
Overall Grade: F- Please America, just send him home!

Seth Grabel

Vote for me and my creepily arched eyebrows.

This guy is an illusionist. I hope that he has a fiance hotter than Swanky's, or else he'll be going home. Either that or his tricks are better (but really, who cares about the magic part?).
Apparently Seth is "going to risking my life for you, America." This is the way the entertainment industry should be - if you're not entertaining, you die. I'm genius. The whole set up for this illusion was so ridiculously cheesy, I almost didn't want to watch the act. After he fell into the tar, they "put" him into a cannon and blasted it when he "suddenly" appeared in that water thing. Uh, that was so obvious. He was in the water thing after falling and they carried a dummy. That was dumb, I figured it out so easily (and if I can figure it out, it isn't very good).
The judges seemed to love it. Why? Could they not figure out the simplicity in the illusion?
Overall Grade: C-

PopLyfe

Firstly, I hate that they spelled life wrong. That is so stupid to me. Secondly, I hate teen pop groups. Thirdly, I hate all of the drama the producers set up before the act to make it seem amazing when they pull it off.
Tonight they're singing "Rolling in the Deep." Sorry folks, I've decided to skip through this. I don't want some teeny boppers to ruin one of my favorite songs.
The judges seemed to love them. Clearly they don't listen to Adele (which they should).
Overall Grade: N/A Sorry everyone.

Ian Johnson

Nick Cannon said, "You won't believe what this guy can do with a yo-yo." Oh Nick, you don't know the yo-yo things I've seen (think what you will about that comment).
Let's see Ian try to make yo-yoing cool. First thoughts, the dancers are unnecessary. As my Potato said, "It's cool, but it's not a Vegas show." I couldn't have said it better myself. Ian is talented with a yo-yo, but I don't know how many people would go to watch a whole show of his (I wouldn't).
Piers X'd this guy and said, "it's still bloody boring." Howie said he'll be the best yo-yo act in the world, but agrees with my thoughts on the headline act thing.
Overall Grade: C-

Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr.

This guy has a shocking voice, let's see how he does.
He's singing "Fly Me to the Moon" by Frank Sinatra, which was one of my parents' wedding songs. They have high expectations for Landau! This is one of the best performances of the night, so far... His voice is interesting enough, but I think he belongs on Broadway (I'm totally right about that one). I loved watching his overwhelmed reaction to looking out at the audience. Special moment, my friends.
Piers "Jerkface" Morgan was brutally honest, as usual. The other two judges blah blah blahed all about how wonderful he was. Sharon said how proud she was of him, and Potato said, "Oh, did you raise him?" Classic.
Overall Grade: B

Purrfect Angelz

What we lack in talent we make up for in hotness.

Are they dead cats or something? Because that's what their name implies. Oh, wait, sorry, they've informed us, "We're besties!" This is sure to be a great act (sarcasm alert)!
Oh my lordy... These girls are pretty much dancing like strippers. Like Swanky's fiance, they're relying solely on their hotness (and some talent). Otherwise, this dance is reminiscent of some kind of weird, kinky porno. I'm not a huge fan, even if they can kind of dance. But it was terribly cheesy, to be honest.
Piers X'd them (rightfully so) because he thinks they don't have a chance of getting through. Howie compared this act to something at Hooters.
Overall Grade: C-

Monét

What a fancy shmancy name. This young girl is a singer who was left homeless after a hurricane. What a tragedy. The homelessness and singing don't relate, but I had to mention both of them.
So, when Monét said she would be singing "Home," my mind first went to Mumford & Sons (naturally). Then I realized it was probably the Daughtry one, and got excited. But no, it's some "Home" I've never heard before. Anyway, my Potato has mimicked the buzzer quite a few times already, and I agree. This little girl cannot hit any notes correctly, she was boring, and the only thing she has going for her is her sad story. Sorry, Monét, you gotta go.
How come nobody X'd her (my dad did)? Howie mentioned the missed notes, Piers also mentioned the pitchiness (but he sees real promise), and Sharon reminded her that she's poor and couldn't afford singing lessons. Rude.
Overall Grade: D Sorry, if you're going to sing, you better do it well. Exception: Me.

Captain & Maybelle

This tattooed, dangerous couple are constantly putting themselves in scary situations. But they measure up to my hopes for the entertainment industry (entertain me or die trying).
The 50's kitchen set up is really cheesy. Holy shit!! They hung a pan from their tongue and nose. And then I just about died when Captain put hooks into his lower eyelids and smung stuff around from it. I pretty much did what the judges did and kind of turned away from the screen. But I tried to watch everything for you, America (you're welcome).
The judges expressed their disgust and intrigue with this act. I couldn't agree more.
Overall Grade: B+ After hearing Captain's mini-speech about not judging by what they look like, I upped the score. And also, I enjoy the life risking thing.

Lys Agnès

She sings opera...I hate opera. Sorry but I tend to find it rather annoying. Lys has really long hair and that also bothers more. But I'll try to get over these short comings (even if it's difficult) and judge her correctly.
Hey guess what? She's from Colorado, gotta support my home state acts. This set up is so cheesy. Lys is standing behind a giant picture frame, and this reminds me of the painting from Harry Potter (the ones that move). I'm not a fan of opera! I don't know what the heck she's saying, and I doubt she knows either. Luckily, Lys has a relatively decent voice, but she did miss a few notes here and there.
Piers wasn't moved, but Howie and Sharon were. Whatever, I was bored.
Overall Grade: C

Professor Splash

For this final act (please be the final act), this crazy professor will be outside. He'll be jumping from a really extreme height (I don't remember what it was) into a kiddie pool into 12 inches of water. This is nuts.
I must admit that I'm rather terrified for this man's safety. What will happen to this man's School of Splash if he dies? (Since he's a Professor, I only assume that he has a school.) This guy is also from Denver! I'm so excited about all of my fellow Coloradans on this show. When he jumped, I held my breath. I think this guy gets off on scaring the crap out of people. Oh, he also set a world record of highest jump from 36 feet, 7 inches.
The judges seemed to love it. Of course, what's not to love about this death-defying stuntman?
Overall Grade: A How could I give him any less? He followed my motto, "Entertain me, or die trying."
Question: What made Professor Splash decide to go into this line of work? Did he wake up one morning and say, "Hey, maybe I should start jumping from extreme heights into small amounts of water."? What a crazy guy.

Here's my top 4 predictions:
Professor Splash
Seth Grabel
Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr.
Lys Agnès

See you tomorrow!