America's Got Talent: Announcing the Final Four

So, not much is going down on the recap tonight. I mean, I know they're announcing the four final acts, but let's be honest...we're all ready for this show to end.
Anyway, let's review my predictions.
Silhouettes
Smage Bros. Riding Show
iLuminate
PopLyfe

I hope I'm right (if only to keep up with my self-proclaimed prediction accomplishments)!

First Act to Move On: Team iLuminate

So, it appears that I'm now one for one, which makes me so mad, since one of my guesses was sent home! I was really starting to enjou Mr. Troy Smalls, and now he's just gone. Also, my streak has been ruined at the beginning.
But, hey, congrats to the neon lit group.

Second Act to Move On: PopLyfe

I knew it, unfortunately. I'm not a fan of wannabe teen pop bands (especially those who walk off stage before they're dismissed). Swanky was sent packing after possibly killing a fish last night. So now I'm two for two, and waiting to see the act I missed.

Before the next results, Il Divo performs and I hate opera so much. And when opera is in the form of a quartet, it's even worse.

Third Act Moving On: Silhouettes

Three for three, America! And I'm super pumped that an act from Colorado moved on. They are carrying the weight of the whole state on their shoulders for the finals. Good luck, golden clad warriors (can they be called that?).

Final Act to Move On (I hope it's Landau!!): Landau Eugene Murphy, Jr.

Yay! Since I almost chose him yesterday instead of Smage Bros. (lesson learned: always listen to my mum), I'm going to count my prediction correctness as 3.5 for 4. I'm glad he made it, this man deserves it.

So there you go, folks. Tune in next week for the final four performances. Until then (if not sooner)!

America's Got Talent: Results of July 20th

Here we go, folks. Time to reveal the next four moving into the semi-finals.
Just to refresh your memory, here was my prediction for tonight:
Daniel Joseph Baker
Smage Bros. Riding Show
Silhouettes
Stephen Retchless

Let's see how I do...

First Act to Make it Through: Silhouettes

Great appeal to America.

Looks like I'm one for one so far! And it looks like America loves itself enough to vote for their patriotic performance.

Some band called Hot Chelle Rae performed a ridiculously poppy, stupid song (but at least it had really deep lyrics). This song was horrible.

Second Act Making it Through: Stephen Retchless

Legs aren't supposed to bend like that.

Love him! He is up there (literally) sparkling on stage, and he totally deserves this. Now I'm two for two, what up!
Howie Mandel said: "America does NOT get it wrong, they voted you in..." Well, Howie America also voted George W. Bush into office, and they sure got it wrong there... (But they definitely get it wrong with Stephen!)

Third Act to Make it Through: Daniel Joseph Baker

Seriously, please be my friend? (I hate to sound desperate...)

Oh my god yes!!!! America, thank you for voting through this amazing, talented singer! He said, "Thank you, America, for letting me by myself!" Yes! It seems America is starting to accept gay guys, especially fierce ones like Daniel Joseph Baker (I still want to be his best friend). I'm three for three!

While leaving the final three perfomers in suspense, they brought out this group called Traces who just performed for Prince William and Princess Kate (lucky). Holy shit that was the coolest thing I've ever seen! They were flipping off of poles, and then jumping onto the next pole. I'm going to try and find a video for your viewing pleasure. Well wouldn't ya know it, I found the one from the show.

For this last act, the judges get to choose who makes it. The prop/friend appealed to the judges by saying: "Well, to be honest, I'm pretty scared, they're getting really close to my body. I'm not even sure if I want to move on." (You just know the other guys were like, "Dude! Don't say that!") Then Swanky discussed the sacrifices he's made, ans how he was willing to whore out his hot fiance for him to move on. Now that's sacrifice.

After the judges deliberated long and hard....Fourth Act to Make it Through: Smage Bros. Riding Show

Apparently, the judges and America want to continue to see Troy be put in danger.

Looks like I was four for four tonight! I am good. Unfortunately, it appears that my other prediction about Troy (the prop/friend) dying on stage will probably come true.
My only upset about Landon Swank and his Hot Fiance going home is that I can't call him Swanky anymore.

So there you have it, America! Next week we'll see the next 12 that are hoping to make it into the semi-finals. Prepare yourself.

American Idol Elimination: 4 Continue, 1 is Crushed

Dreams will be crushed tonight! And I can't wait.

My Bottom Two:
Jacob "I Gyrate for Jesus" Lusk - XXX (I did three X's for a few reasons...)
Scotty da Body, Flute Extraordinaire

Mom's Bottom Two:
Turtle (Jacob) - X
Lauren

Dad's Bottom Two:
Jacob - X
Lauren

So I've realized that whenever I coin a new nickname for an Idol, they get eliminated. We can say goodbye to Jacob "I Gyrate for Jesus" Lusk (and since he's probably leaving, I'm gonna use this as much as I can).

I loved how Scotty is shown saying, "I love Jesus," in a montage from last night. Awesome.

Group songs are terrible. My brother begged me to fast forward through it, but he has to understand that it's too much to mock. Jacob's dancing is too amusing to pass up.

The Idols are in Hell's Kitchen! How much fun. I love Gordon Ramsay, he's just an ass (which makes him so amusing). Wow it appears that no one on Idol can cook. And Scotty da Body finds this just as amusing as I do. Plus, his omelette looked terrible.

I'm SO pumped for Lady Antebellum! I love them!

Well, first of all, I've never heard "Just a Kiss," and I'm gonna have to go buy it. Next, I love Charles. His voice is magical (it's one of my favorites, after Paul McDonald, of course). Not to mention he's super attractive. But I'm pretty much convinced that that was NOT Hillary singing up there. It doesn't look like her at all!
Despite that, Lady Antebellum is one of my favorite bands. That song was beautiful, and they sound amazing together.

Guess what I love? The confidentials of when the Idols talk about their experience. It makes me want to audition now (if only I could sing). I think Scotty is hilarious, with the cards and stuff.

James' moment of truth.

Go to the far side of the stage, sir. Because Ryan enjoys seeing your tourettes go crazy (jerk).

Lauren's moment.

She is put into the near-side group.

Hell's Kitchen: Part 2
Jacob, calm the eff down. But I do love these blind taste tests.
Lauren won! What did she win? The prize of keeping her sister/mom around? Awesome.

JLo's performance is up next.
Guess what? I hate this kind of music. It's terrible. So let's just pretend I'm saying something interesting. I'll just comment how frickin sparkly she is. With her entire outfit to those things under her eyes, she's blinding.
I just wish someone could tell me the lyrics... Is she saying to get on the floor (this hasn't been made clear for me)?

Tangent Alert:
My dad informed me that Steven Tyler has mangled feet and that got him addicted to drugs and stuff. I couldn't help but wonder if he had those shoes that squeeze your feet, like those Chinese shoes.

Jacob "I Gyrate for Jesus" Lusk.

My parents have remarked that Jacob is the kiss of death. Whichever side he goes to, the other person knows they're in danger (terrible, but true).
Sorry, Lauren and Jacob. You're in danger!

Haley, you're up.

Guess what, America? She was one of my favorites last night. I enjoyed both of her songs.
Haley joins Twitch, naturally.

Scotty da Body, Flute Extraordinaire.

Poor boy. Ryan is gonna make him pick which side he thinks he's on, and Scotty just might have an emotional breakdown.
Ryan, you're a jerk!! Seriously. This is cruel, especially for Scotty, such a nice Southern boy.

Safe: Twitch, Haley, Scotty
In Danger: Lauren, Jacob (me and my parents are psychic, or something)

Here it is: the dreams of an aspiring musician will be crushed, and I'm pretty pumped.
The Idol leaving us tonight us....Jacob "I Gyrate for Jesus" Lusk is headed back to church.
Thank goodness! I'll never have to see him again, unless I visit a church in Compton (which I can assure won't happen).
I'll leave you guys with one last picture of Mr. Lusk.

I'm gonna go celebrate Cinco de Mayo the right way - enjoying Jacob "I Gyrate for Jesus" Lusk's departure. Toodle-oo, America.

American Idol Recap: The Top 6 Become 5

Which Idol will fall tonight? Tune in to find out the failure of the Top 6!

My Bottom Three:
Jacob - X (please!!)
Scotty
Haley

Mom's Bottom Three:
Turtle (Jacob) - X
Casey
Alfred (Scotty)

Dad's Bottom Three:
Jacob
Casey - X
Scotty

Fans will be diappointed? Maybe my dad is right... Or maybe Scotty will go home. We shall see.

I really like the British clip. I like seeing people failing at doing fake British accents. (I'm quite excellent at it.)

Wow that group song was the cream of cheesey crop. Seriously, NO ONE sounded good. That was just...terrible.
My brother pointed out that Lauren was wearing a blinged out Ring Pop. Wow.

Crystal Bowersox. The only things I remembered about her? Her huge sunflower tattoo, her dreadlocks, and her teeth (which she evidently fixed, yay).

Casey - Who the eff is Oscar Peterson? My mom pointed out that what he said flew over everyone's heads.
Lauren - Aww I heard about the tornadoes, and your answer was super sweet (and I got to see your sister/mom).
Scotty the Body - You worked at a grocery store and a tanning salon...? You should have been funnier (maybe you played the flute).
Twitch - Yeah for pre-Idol bands! And double-yeah for mentioning Paul! I miss that man...
I liked Ryan's joke on Taylor Hicks. But he made his comeback on Jimmy Fallon.

Haley
First of all, her outfit is bizarre. And a little trashy. But her necklace is cool.
Haha I love Jimmy's comment about Steven's remark (he must not believe in God). Haley's voice is good, but I've been saying this whole time she doesn't quite know who she is.
She's safe! Looks like my guess was wrong.

Scotty da Body - Flute Player Extraordinare
Look, Jimmy, you're wrong. Scotty is not subtle, he just didn't do well last night.
Hang tight? What the eff, Ryan? He gets off on making these Idols almost pee their pants.

Lauren
Seeing that last night was relatively boring, Lauren was pretty good last night. I was impressed (but that dude was a stupid prop). Jimmy says she's here for the long run. Amen, brother.
Lauren is a lot taller than Peaches (I wanted to bring her nickname for Ryan back).
Ryan, stop this suspense.

Cabrams
I think my parents may be right about his Bottom 3 fate. But he did make Steven's scalp itch (?)... "Casey needs to realize that the family dog does not vote on this show," says Jimmy. Haha that's hilarious. But I enjoy his growls.
And shocker, Casey has to wait. Yargh.

Twitch
My parents just remarked that he better not get voted off. I've already cried during this show, and I don't want to see my parents cry.
Jimmy didn't think was believable? Are you high, sir? But he did say he has no doubt that James could win this thing (whoa!!).
Twitch McGee is safe.

Carlton Turtle Jacob McSingyPants
Yeah, that's an all-encompassing nickname. Jacob is on banana peel status, according to Jimmy (what does that even mean?).

So, now it's Jacob, Cabrams, Lauren, and Scotty da Body.
My parents NAILED the bottom three. My dad seems very proud of himself right now. Poor Jacob can't handle being in the bottom 3. Get over it, Mister! It's part of this competition.

So now it's an intense rivalry between my parents:
My mom says Jacob is outta here.
My dad says Cabrams is leaving us tonight.
(I know I'm already kicked out, but I'm saying Scotty just to throw a wrench in there.)
Who will win? Who will lose? Who will cry? We'll find out soon!

Bruno Mars, "Lazy Song." The best part? That cute golden retriever on the couch. I like Bruno's voice, but not his music. He's singing about masturbating in his Snuggie (unless I'm misunderstanding his lyrics)? And why did they have to block out the word sex? Let's get real American Idol...you guys left behind the family friend image after recruiting the unpredictable Steven Tyler as a judge.

Final Judgment (not the Jesus kind)
I'm nervous
Jacob is safe??? Whoa. Mom is knocked out of the race.
Who will it be?? Ahh!
Cabrams is leaving??? This is terrible! And why isn't Haley bawling her eyes out? We all know they're going to make growly babies together.
How disappointing... There is now only one reason left to watch this damn show (Twitch best win this thing!).
Casey on the counter was funny. I'll miss this guy. But hey, he's had so much fun and done a great job. And he's kissed plenty of girls in the audience and on the show.

Nice job, Mr. Cabrams! You went out with a bang, and he told Haley that she's his. The big conference tomorrow will be good.
Until then, blogosphere!

American Idol Results Recap: The Night I Almost Lost My Mind

Okee dokee! 'Tis time for the show of shows, American Idol. My greatest addiction.
Pizza + American Idol = Great Night. I think I'm ready. I'm super pumped, but maybe a little worried. We'll just see how it goes.

So my family and I have placed our bets on the bottom 4 and who goes home.
My predictions:
Bottom Three
1) Naima
2) Stefano
3) Thia

I refuse to think Paul will be anywhere near the bottom, because if he is, I'll lose it. And if he goes home, which he WON'T, I'll lose it and have an emotional breakdown.

Going Home
Naima and Stefano

Mom's predictions:
Bottom Three
1) Naima
2) Thia
3) Lucas Lanes (Stefano)

Going Home
Naima and Thia

Mi Padre's predictions:
Bottom Four:
1) Thia Megia
2) Lucas Lanes (Stefano)
3) Jamaican Girl (Naima)

Going Home
Naima and Lucas Lanes (Stefano)

Looks like we're mostly in agreement.

Just so everyone knows, this will be a stream-of-consciousness kind of recap/post. It's easier that way, and you get to read all my thoughts. You're pumped too, I know.
So let's get rolling...

Scotty and Lauren singing together? Cheesy, I called it. By the way, Lauren's new nickname is Lucy Lovelace, thanks to my Padre.
Wow this is SO corny! Mom said they're 16, 17 and it's so corny that they're singing that song.

And Alfred E. Newman and Lucy Lovelace (and her sister/mom) live to sing another week.

Wow that stupid message from the Idols was lame. Paul said, "Go watch the videos." Okay I will!!
Now the Ford music video... Perfect Pia, I know Paul's awesome and all, but come on, back off. You're way too orange for him anyway. Plus, you have a boyfriend! Yeah, a boyfriend. Best news of the day, so far.

Okay, I'm sending Paul some awesome fan mail. I've had it for a week now, I just gotta send it. He'll love it.

Naima and Jacob sing together. I didn't realize this was Karaoke Idol. Terrible.
Haha this song makes me think of SNL, when they sang "Solid as Barack." Better version, I'll tell you that.

Jacob looks like he's not breathing. He's praying so hard right now.
Naima is in the bottom. Looks like Padre, Mom, and I are 1 for 4 (3?)

Skipped through Fantasia, she sounds like she's 5. Jacob looks like he's about to bust out of his skin watching Fantasia.

Haley, Thia, and Pia.
"Teenage Dream?" Please, no.
All the girls are stand-dancing. Their heels are way too high to move anyway.

Pia is safe. Ugh. Haley is safe, Thia is in the bottom. We're all 2 for 3.

Love the Rockstar Life montage. Paul's suitcase has a Hightide Blues sticker! Woo hoo. Lauren's fall was funny.
Hahaha Casey had his stuff in trash bags and an office box.
Oh, of course Lauren got a tan. What about Pia? Because there's no way that orange is natural.

Paul, Stefano, Casey, James.
Wow Paul's voice is stunning in this song. Gosh I love him, especially when he rocks out when playing the gee-tar. He's the only one I'm commenting on.
Paul is in his element here, it's awesome.
Dude!! Poster that says "Paul Has American Dreams." Love it.

Moment of truth...
Casey's in, duh. James is safe, yipee! I bet Paul is freaking out like I am.
I think I'm gonna lose it. I'm pretty much about to cry, no joke. HOLY FRICKIN COW. Paul cannot go home, because no one wants to see my emotional breakdown.
Deep breath... I think Paul will be safe. He has to be, right?

Oh yeah, looks like Padre, Mom and I were wrong about Lucas Lanes. That makes me upset.

PAUL MADE IT!!!! This is the best new of the day. Holy crap I'm pretty sure I just had a near death experience.
Oh gosh I am so beyond relieved.
Paul, please bring it so hard next week! (This may or may not be a sexual innuendo.) I want you to stun the audience and rock it out.
Ahhh you're safe!! Pardon my mini-freak out. This was just very terrifying for me.

Bye, Naima and Thia. Looks like Mom was right about who was going home.

This was the most stressful episode ever. Time for me to pull myself together.
One last note, Paul needs to impress us next week, he needs to be the best of the night. I'm expecting amazingness!!!

Toodle-oo, everyone. Wish me luck in recovery.