Wednesday, July 20, 2011

America's Got Talent: Results of July 20th

Here we go, folks. Time to reveal the next four moving into the semi-finals.
Just to refresh your memory, here was my prediction for tonight:
Daniel Joseph Baker
Smage Bros. Riding Show
Stephen Retchless

Let's see how I do...

First Act to Make it Through: Silhouettes
Great appeal to America.
Looks like I'm one for one so far! And it looks like America loves itself enough to vote for their patriotic performance.

Some band called Hot Chelle Rae performed a ridiculously poppy, stupid song (but at least it had really deep lyrics). This song was horrible.

Second Act Making it Through: Stephen Retchless
Legs aren't supposed to bend like that.
Love him! He is up there (literally) sparkling on stage, and he totally deserves this. Now I'm two for two, what up!
Howie Mandel said: "America does NOT get it wrong, they voted you in..." Well, Howie America also voted George W. Bush into office, and they sure got it wrong there... (But they definitely get it wrong with Stephen!)

Third Act to Make it Through: Daniel Joseph Baker
Seriously, please be my friend? (I hate to sound desperate...)
Oh my god yes!!!! America, thank you for voting through this amazing, talented singer! He said, "Thank you, America, for letting me by myself!" Yes! It seems America is starting to accept gay guys, especially fierce ones like Daniel Joseph Baker (I still want to be his best friend). I'm three for three!

While leaving the final three perfomers in suspense, they brought out this group called Traces who just performed for Prince William and Princess Kate (lucky). Holy shit that was the coolest thing I've ever seen! They were flipping off of poles, and then jumping onto the next pole. I'm going to try and find a video for your viewing pleasure. Well wouldn't ya know it, I found the one from the show.

For this last act, the judges get to choose who makes it. The prop/friend appealed to the judges by saying: "Well, to be honest, I'm pretty scared, they're getting really close to my body. I'm not even sure if I want to move on." (You just know the other guys were like, "Dude! Don't say that!") Then Swanky discussed the sacrifices he's made, ans how he was willing to whore out his hot fiance for him to move on. Now that's sacrifice.

After the judges deliberated long and hard....Fourth Act to Make it Through: Smage Bros. Riding Show
Apparently, the judges and America want to continue to see Troy be put in danger.
Looks like I was four for four tonight! I am good. Unfortunately, it appears that my other prediction about Troy (the prop/friend) dying on stage will probably come true.
My only upset about Landon Swank and his Hot Fiance going home is that I can't call him Swanky anymore.

So there you have it, America! Next week we'll see the next 12 that are hoping to make it into the semi-finals. Prepare yourself.

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