Thursday, May 5, 2011

American Idol Elimination: 4 Continue, 1 is Crushed

Dreams will be crushed tonight! And I can't wait.

My Bottom Two:
Jacob "I Gyrate for Jesus" Lusk - XXX (I did three X's for a few reasons...)
Scotty da Body, Flute Extraordinaire

Mom's Bottom Two:
Turtle (Jacob) - X

Dad's Bottom Two:
Jacob - X

So I've realized that whenever I coin a new nickname for an Idol, they get eliminated. We can say goodbye to Jacob "I Gyrate for Jesus" Lusk (and since he's probably leaving, I'm gonna use this as much as I can).

I loved how Scotty is shown saying, "I love Jesus," in a montage from last night. Awesome.

Group songs are terrible. My brother begged me to fast forward through it, but he has to understand that it's too much to mock. Jacob's dancing is too amusing to pass up.

The Idols are in Hell's Kitchen! How much fun. I love Gordon Ramsay, he's just an ass (which makes him so amusing). Wow it appears that no one on Idol can cook. And Scotty da Body finds this just as amusing as I do. Plus, his omelette looked terrible.

I'm SO pumped for Lady Antebellum! I love them!
Well, first of all, I've never heard "Just a Kiss," and I'm gonna have to go buy it. Next, I love Charles. His voice is magical (it's one of my favorites, after Paul McDonald, of course). Not to mention he's super attractive. But I'm pretty much convinced that that was NOT Hillary singing up there. It doesn't look like her at all!
Despite that, Lady Antebellum is one of my favorite bands. That song was beautiful, and they sound amazing together.

Guess what I love? The confidentials of when the Idols talk about their experience. It makes me want to audition now (if only I could sing). I think Scotty is hilarious, with the cards and stuff.

James' moment of truth.
Go to the far side of the stage, sir. Because Ryan enjoys seeing your tourettes go crazy (jerk).

Lauren's moment.
She is put into the near-side group.

Hell's Kitchen: Part 2
Jacob, calm the eff down. But I do love these blind taste tests.
Lauren won! What did she win? The prize of keeping her sister/mom around? Awesome.

JLo's performance is up next.
Guess what? I hate this kind of music. It's terrible. So let's just pretend I'm saying something interesting. I'll just comment how frickin sparkly she is. With her entire outfit to those things under her eyes, she's blinding.
I just wish someone could tell me the lyrics... Is she saying to get on the floor (this hasn't been made clear for me)?

Tangent Alert:
My dad informed me that Steven Tyler has mangled feet and that got him addicted to drugs and stuff. I couldn't help but wonder if he had those shoes that squeeze your feet, like those Chinese shoes.

Jacob "I Gyrate for Jesus" Lusk.
My parents have remarked that Jacob is the kiss of death. Whichever side he goes to, the other person knows they're in danger (terrible, but true).
Sorry, Lauren and Jacob. You're in danger!

Haley, you're up.
Guess what, America? She was one of my favorites last night. I enjoyed both of her songs.
Haley joins Twitch, naturally.

Scotty da Body, Flute Extraordinaire.
Poor boy. Ryan is gonna make him pick which side he thinks he's on, and Scotty just might have an emotional breakdown.
Ryan, you're a jerk!! Seriously. This is cruel, especially for Scotty, such a nice Southern boy.

Safe: Twitch, Haley, Scotty
In Danger: Lauren, Jacob (me and my parents are psychic, or something)

Here it is: the dreams of an aspiring musician will be crushed, and I'm pretty pumped.
The Idol leaving us tonight us....Jacob "I Gyrate for Jesus" Lusk is headed back to church.
Thank goodness! I'll never have to see him again, unless I visit a church in Compton (which I can assure won't happen).
I'll leave you guys with one last picture of Mr. Lusk.

I'm gonna go celebrate Cinco de Mayo the right way - enjoying Jacob "I Gyrate for Jesus" Lusk's departure. Toodle-oo, America.

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