Friday, May 13, 2011

American Idol: 4 Becomes 3, and the Wrong Person Goes Home

Sorry this is late. Blogger was down for some reason. Lame. But here I am! Ready to rock and roll!

My Bottom Two:
Lauren - X

Mom's Bottom Two:
Lauren - X
James (what the eff, mom? She doesn't want him to be, but she's nervous)

Dad's Bottom Two:
Haley - X

So, guess whose favorite author likes American Idol? Mine. Tonight, Sarah Dessen mentioned American Idol about 3 times. I love her even more now! (I'll post a blog about my experience tomorrow.)

Here was a conversation between me and my parents:
Me: "They keep trying to play up Haley's legs, you notice that?"
Dad: "Yeah, well they can't do that with Lauren."
Mom: Gives him a look.
Dad: "What? They can't. She's always wearing boots and stuff."
Hahaha oh, Dad.

So, Scotty and James' song kind of sucks. Scotty annoys the crap out of me. If he keeps up this weirdness, hopefully he'll leave. Scotty has no natural stage presence, it all feels forced (that weird swatting at the camera? Stop that). James did as decent as he could, but his guitar was radical.

Haley and Lauren are singing Miranda Lambert's "Gun Powder and Lead." What is up with all these country songs tonight? Seriously. James and Haley don't sing country. This really isn't great. I mean, it's okay, I guess. But nothing exciting.
My dad liked it (he's loco).

Family montage (nice plug for Windows):
Lauren's dogs were ugly. Her brother looks like Justin Beiber.
Holy crapole James' son is way too cute. I love him (can I offer to babysit?)
Scotty hasn't seen his sister in a dern month. Yee-haw.
Haley's conversation was clearly boring, because they didn't show much of her.

First person in the Top 3:
Lauren Alaina.
Dammit. Her sister/mom seems excited, but me? Not so much. If James goes home, someone is gonna experience my wrath.

Here's the Idols watching Gaga. Scotty is praying for her soul, Haley is remembering when she sang "You and I" and feeling jealous, Lauren Alaina is thinking about her sister/mom (I just need another reference), James is admiring her craziness and artistry. By the way, I love Lady Gaga's piano. It is frickin rad.

We skipped through Enrique Igleasias (is that spelled right?), because we don't really care. And I have stuff to do.

Ford Music Video. They're singing "Fireflies"? This is seriously happening? Awesome job, Idol staff. That was terrible.

Jordin Sparks - fast forwarded through. Sorry, people of the blogosphere. But I just don't think I can ever listen to a Jordin Sparks song again without having Jacob Lusk gyrating for Jesus up there. It will never be the same (I just really loved Jacob)!!

Why is Steven Tyler hugging a sloth in his music video? That was weird, even for him. And a vulture? An elephant? Everything is melting? What is happening?!
But hey, this was actually pretty good. And I'm also pretty positive American Idol has officially lost its Family Show rating with that video. Most adults will small children will flip (understandably, I guess).

Haley is in the Top 3, too?
Holy crap, my mom is about to poop her pants. If James goes home, my mom will react the same way I did when P McD went home.
Scotty better be going home. Or else I'm organizing a boycott of American Idol!
Here we go, America......SCOTTY EFFING FLUTE EXTRAORDINAIRE McCREERY is going to the finals? Is this a joke or something? Because, uh, ya know, James deserved to win this whole show. Seriously.
Wow, America. You guys messed up big time. I may never forgive you! Guess who's responsible? Yeah, I'm looking at you tween girls (I hate you). You girls shouldn't have the right to vote. Scotty McCreery doesn't deserve to be here, sorry buddy.
This is ridiculous, America. I wish the judges could replace one of the others with James.
Yeah, I'm devastated too, James.

Yargh. What a terrible ending to a great day. I guess I'm boycotting American Idol now. Sorry, guys (actually, this probably won't really happen). But this season has just delivered too much heartbreak and disappointment for me to handle. First Paul McDonald, then James Durbin. Twitch, may you have a better career than the rest of the lame-o's in the Top Three.
And with that, good night.

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