Tuesday, May 10, 2011

The Voice: The Singers Duke it Out, Vocally - Part 1

It's time again for that show I'm not a huge fan of. The Voice. Why is their symbol a peace sign? Lame. (Just so it's clear, I actually get it.)

So it's the battle round, and Christina Aguliera makes it sound like if they don't win, they'll die! Intense. I'd also like to add that I'm pretty sure Christina got a boob job for this show. No one her size has boobs that big. Seriously.
I mean, come on...

First pairing is Frenchie Davis and Tarralyn something-or-other (oh, and there's tension, gotta love drama) and they're gonna sing "Single Ladies." When Christina was singing with them, she messed up the words and said she doesn't care about singing the words right. Duh! When she sang the National Anthem at the Super Bowl, she totally messed up the words. Lame.
Oh, and does anyone recognize Frenchie from American Idol (or some little thing called Broadway)? Apparently she was disqualified because she took topless pictures before the show. Here's Frenchie.
(She's a pretty big girl...)
So, Tarralyn Ramsey sounded terrible. Seriously. It's like she went to the Jacob "I Gyrate for Jesus" Lusk School of Singing. Frenchie did okay.
After much struggle and cluelessness from Christina and Australian lady, the Winner: Frenchie.
Haha! This is great. Tarralyn and her terrible wig are out. Of course Frenchie would make it, it's because American Idol spots talent first.

From Blake Shelton's team:
Patrick Thomas vs. Tyler Robinson. "Burning Love" by Elvis, and Tyler thinks Patrick is cute. He also wants to make people love him, and guess what? I already do (if someone is gay, I will immediately love them; and if they struggled with being gay and Mormon, double plus). Let's take a look at my dear little Tyler.
Seriously, look at him. If he goes home, I'll be very upset. I mean, Tyler is wearing big, nerdy glasses with a suit and bowtie. I'm rooting for my gay Mormon! I'm trying to find a Paul McDonald-like contestant (as in compared to my fandom, but maybe to a lesser degree) on The Voice, but it may not ever happen again.
Patrick sounds like he's trying way too hard to sound country and distinctive - be yourself (and his vest is horrid)! Tyler is so soulful. Guess what they made him? "I'm flaming." Shame on you, The Voice. I really like Tyler, and his attempts to show up Patrick (which he did, in my opinion).
Alright, intense deliberation time between Blake and Reba. They better choose Tyler, my darling gay Mormon! Cee Lo agrees with me, rock on, and so does Adam Levine.
Winner: Patrick.
What the hell Blake?! Why didn't you choose Tyler? Bad choice, my friend. Because you have lost a fan (one which you never even really had in the first place), hopefully this makes you understand your decision was wrong. Sheesh.

Sorry, America, I've had enough heartbreak for one night (actually, it's just time for Stephen Colbert). I'll recooperate from this sudden lost, and post the rest tomorrow night.

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