Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Guess Who's Visiting on May 21st?

Holy crap! Mark your calendars!! Because on May 21st the rapture is going to happen!! Wait...what?

Let's just get this straight. Apparently, on May 21st, Jesus H. Christ is returning to Earth (probably just America, though, of course). And, according to www.wecanknow.com, the  Good Book points to Jesus coming back next weekend! Let's take a gander, shall we? First, here's the Big Man himself:
That's how I'd want to picture him. I also can't help but wonder how Jacob "I Gyrate for Jesus" Lusk would react to this visit...

Anywhoo, let's check the Bible. According to 1 Thessalonians 5:2, "For yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so cometh as a thief in the night." Oh, I see now.
Then, aforementioned website discusses how God told Noah when he was going to flood the world, and how He told Lot when he was going to blow up Sodom, the city of angel rapers (seriously).
After that goobly-guck, the website ends the explanation with, and I quote, "We can know something about how God will behave in the future by looking at how He has behaved in the past (Hebrews 13:8). Since He has given advance notice of the precise timing for judgment in the past we should not be surprised that He is revealing the timing of the end today."
Where did God say May 21st, 2011 is the day the rapture will happen? Because I haven't seen that anywhere.

Also according to this website, Jesus is returning on May 21st, and "God will destroy this world on October 21, 2011." Awesome. I'm glad I was warned.

Wait a second! I'm going to the PostSecret event on May 21st (yeah, I'm pumped)! If the rapture happens that day, I'll be devastated if I miss PostSecret. Maybe Jesus and his Daddy can figure out another day to do this whole crazy thing.

2 comments:

  1. Did anyone see the picture of the controversial billboard that was recently put up by another spiritual group near Family Radio’s headquarters? It directly challenges them about May 21. Here is a picture of it:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/62779138@N08/5708063636

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  2. What? Both of these seem ridiculous to me. The one you posted seems like it's from a Jehovah's Witness or something.
    But thanks for sharing! The more ridiculousness, the better :)

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