Wednesday, May 18, 2011

American Idol Top 3: Idol Post Durbin

Dear America,
I'm still pretty mad at you about what happened last week. You've really made it hard for me to trust you again. First, you break my heart by sending home Paul McDonald (I'll forever miss him), then you further break my heart by sending home James Durbin. I may or may not ever forgive you.

I should officially start by saying that this post may be extra snarky. There is no one left to root for! A flute extraordinaire who doesn't know geography? No thank you. An annoying teenager who has a sister/mom? Double no thank you. A semi-talented, unique singer who isn't consistent? Maybe, thank you.
I'm sure you can tell that the only one I'm rooting for is Haley. If Scotty or Lauren wins, I'll be rather upset. (Just to be clear, I don't want any of these Idols to win, I'm just picking the best of the worst.)

Let's begin.

I liked the beginning montage of hometown visits. Scotty da Body was eating a donut, and seemed too cool for his fans. He isn't. Sheesh. I just told my parents that I want someone from hometown to be in the Top 3 American Idol next season so that I can go to the celebration.

Dude! They kept Durbin Day! Good. Twitch deserved to have a day dedicated to him (remember: Twitch is a term of endearment!).

First Round: Contestant's Picks

Beyoncé is their mentor. How rad is that? She was super cute. But guess what? Whenever I hear her song "Single Ladies," I think of this lovely clip:

Hahaha classic (I love Andy Samberg, I want to be like him one day. And Justin Timberlake is awesome).

Scotty da Body, Flute Extraordinaire
I really love this plaid shirt.
 "Amazed" by Lonestar
So, Beyoncé pretty much loves the young Scotty, and would break up with Jay-Z for him. Look at this country boy, Lady Gaga and Beyoncé both flirted with him.
Hey Scotty, stop wearing that plaid shirt every week. Wow I'm bored. Again, Scotty McCreery's voice is shocking to me, but it's not the best of his tonight. He over pronounces his words (that's the best way I can think of putting it), and he doesn't have much stage presence. Plus, in this performance, the background singers upstaged Scotty. Come on, man, step it up a bit! You won't win with just a decent song like that. I'm yawning.
Hey JLo...what does bravado mean? Because I couldn't hear whatever that is in his singing.

Lauren Alaina

"Wild One" by Faith Hill
Beyoncé pretty much just said Lauren is boring when she doesn't sing fun songs. Amen, sister! Lucy Lovelace needs to loosen up.
Why the giant earrings?? Stop that, Idol stylists! My mom and I think the stylist needs to be fired (I'll do it myself if I have to).
So let me start by saying the beginning wasn't great. She was a little shaky with her notes and it just sounded off. Lauren kicked it up in the middle, but then she faltered again. She doesn't have much confidence in her abilities, and it shows. This was a rather mediocre (verging on bad) performance. Hit the notes correctly!
Why the eff are the judges sugar coating her performance? They're sprinkling her with compliments she doesn't necessarily deserve. Jennifer seemed like she wanted to say something critical, but she was probably zapped by the producers so she wouldn't say anything honest.
My parents and I have agreed that we don't want Lauren Alaina to win. That would give me a heart attack.

Okay, Steven Tyler keeps mouthing random things to the camera. Weird.

Haley Reinhart
"What is and What Should Never Be" by Led Zeppelin
Beyoncé pretty much said that Haley probably won't do very well with this song, but that she might be able to pull it off. She also digs her raspiness and tone (as do I).
Whoa Haley sounds great at the beginning of this song. Her voice is stunning, and sounds beautiful a Capella. How cute! Her dad is playing the guitar, when she sang, "my daddy," she pointed to him. Adorable. Oh my gosh!! The poor thing fell! But she pulled it off pretty well. So, I know a lot of people are going to be critical of this performance. But I loved it. Haley has such a unique tone and a stage presence that helps her performance. I thought this was one of her best to date. That was great. And Haley's dad was rocking out. They were great together, and it was super neat she got to have that moment with her dad.
I loved that Randy and Steven stood up for her, how sweet. As Randy (and my dad) said, "You're in it to win it!"

Winner of Round One: Haley Reinhart
Congratulations, you get my stamp of my approval. Plus, she is the pick to win at my household (well, we want her to win).
Guess who agrees with me? Randy. And JLo. And...not Steven? I couldn't understand what he said.

Round Two: Jimmy Iovine's Picks

Scotty McCreery

Haha nice audition clip. They've polished  him up, no more sandals and longer hair = more young girls falling in love. Steven Tyler's comment was the best moment ever on this show.
Jimmy picked "Are You Gonna Kiss Me or Not?" by Thompson Square. I'm sorry....who?? My dad pretended like he knew them (he doesn't).
Scotty is busting out the old guitar for this one. He sounds so ridiculously country in this song, and I guess it works for him. But if he continues making ridiculous faces, then people will get annoyed. I really hate how Scotty says P's, D's and other letters such as that. He's trying way too hard at the end to sound authentic country! He's Mr. Consistent. This may be good for him, but I don't like that.
I think the judges love him (duh). JLo wants him to shave his head again. Why? He'll look even more like Alfred E. Neuman.
Scotty's in it to win it! Thanks Randy Dawg.

Lauren Alaina
Audition clip: Guess what? This was pretty much the first and last time I was a Lauren fan. Actually I really only liked her when she was singing with Steven Tyler. As my dad pointed out, she hasn't sang that well since. And, uh, the judges were wrong about Lauren being the best of Nashville. I think we ALL know Paul McDonald was the best (obviously).
Jimmy's pick for Lauren: "If I Die Young" by The Band Perry. Guess who loves this song? Me. Guess who is tempted to fast forward through this in case she ruins it? Me, again.
Blech! Lauren made the beginning of this song boring. She doesn't sound nearly as good as the original, and that makes me upset. She can't hit the same notes as The Band Perry. Plus, Lauren's tone isn't nearly as interesting as the original. The ending was better, but she hit some notes harshly (like "knife" and "put" and etc.). I'm not a fan of this performance. Not very good, Missy. I realized that Lauren's not as polished or as soft as The Band Perry (I don't know how to word it, but she's almost harsh and soft at the same time).
JLo, what the eff? Lauren has the most beautiful tone of the rest of the contestants? Is that a joke? Because, uh, that's not true.
Lauren's sister/mom seemed to love that. She just can't stop smiling. Botox?

Haley Reinhart

Haley's audition was good. Hey, how cool that she was told to come back and audition again, and now she's in the top 3. This performance is exemplary of her true talent and uniqueness. I love her tone and attitude. I hope she wins.
Jimmy's pick (I want it to be Mumford & Sons): "Rhiannon" by Fleetwood Mac. Whoa, good choice, Jim Jim. Let's hear her bust it out.
Wow she sounds beautiful at the beginning. Her voice is haunting and stunning in the slower parts. So, the wind was kind of cheesy. After the win kicked in, I'm not as impressed with the rest of Haley's performance. There are parts I really liked, and I guess those would be the beginning and the end. Those last few words were good. My parents felt that Jim Jim picked the wrong Fleetwood Mac song (I guess I kind of agree), and it couldn't top the first performance. I agree, but I still liked it.
She's in it to win it!! Haley should really beat out these children.

Winner of Round Two: Haley Reinhart
Sorry, guys, but it's true. And it's not just because I'm her new biggest fan, I really think this.
My parents think Scotty. Dad said "He slayed it." Yeah, dad, you're too cool for school.

Beyoncé semi-premiered her new video for "Who Run This World (Girls)". I'm not even sure what to say. It's a really strange video, and I'm not a big fan of all the weird sounds in the background. But Beyoncé is an awesome dancer. She's empowering girls everywhere (I'm going to take over the world now).

Round Three: Judges' Picks

Scotty da Body
Let's take a trip to Garner with our boy Scotty. The judges chose "She Believes in Me" by Kenny Rogers.
A slow song? Really judges? Do you want him to lose? Sheesh. I love the orchestra in the background. So, the beginning of the song was good, I was actually entranced in his voice. But when Scotty kicks it into gear, I get a little annoyed. Again, I think it's because he powers through P's and D's and such. I don't know, America. Scotty will naturally be a huge country star, but his performances are blah (really blah). I could maybe listen to his record, but I might not be able to watch him. The upside? McCreery packed tons of emotion into this song.
My parents think JLo is cute. But she's the most beautiful woman in the world!
Just throwing this out there, but Scotty and his dad should do a duet of babylockthemdoors.

Lauren Alaina
I love prom.
Let's head on down to Rosfull, Georgia with Lauren and her sister/mom to find out her song selection. Giddy up! Their pick: "I Hope You Dance" by LeAnn Rimes. So, this is mine and my mom's song (yeah, it is), so she's gonna ruin this one for me, too.
Guess who's going to Prom for the second week in a row? Lauren Alaina!
Ugh, America, I almost don't want to listen to this. The beginning was terrible, she hit the notes all weird and I was disappointed. Then at the end, she tried to change up some of the notes by going high and low and kind of raspy (I think that's what it was). Lauren tried to be too original, and she wasn't. Sorry, honey. The other big problem? Lauren didn't back this performance with any emotion. I didn't feel the emotion in her voice, which you can feel in LeAnn Rimes' version.
Randy says Lauren slayed it and is in it to win it. But of course! All the judges are wrong. JLo, I doubt she won the round (I don't care if you got "the goosies"), and Steven, she is not comfortable with herself. Ya dumb.

Haley Reinhart
In it to win it.
 I hope you slay it, diggity dog! In Chicago, Haley learned her song is "You Oughta Know" by Alanis Morissette. Do it up, chica.
So, it isn't starting off too strong on the stairs. Then it seemed like Haley forgot some of the words, but it's mostly because she had to sing so fast. But this girl definitely kicked it into gear in the chorus! She has so much energy, and she definitely did better at the end. I almost feel this was a cruel pick by the judges, because it must have been hard to sing those really fast parts. But she pulled it off! Haley fo sho nailed the ending. As the judges have repeated, the choruses were great. She has tons of soul and rocked it out.
She's in it to win it! It was beautiful! Golly gosh, judges, thanks for your awesome and helpful judges.

Winner of Round Three: Haley Reinhart or maybe Scotty McCreery
I figured I should throw some of da Body in there because it was solid (duh), but I just really like Haley.
See how Lauren didn't win a single round? That's because she ruined two of my favorite songs. Go home, Lauren! And take your damn sister/mom with you.

So, tonight worked pretty well in Haley's favor. Scotty da Body did well, because he's consistent and too good. Lauren showed all of her weaknesses and will hopefully get the boot.

That's it, America! I'm still mad at you, by the way. Without James, tonight was pretty boring. The most excitement we got was Haley tripping on stage.
Good night, ya'll.

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