Wednesday, May 25, 2011

American Idol Finale: And the Winner Is...

James Durbin!! Oh, wait, I may have have forgotten that he's not in the finals... How disappointing...
So, in reality, Scotty McCreery and Lauren Alaina and her sister/mom are anxiously waiting to see who will win season 10 of American Idol. I don't really care who wins. I just hope it's not Lauren (she's way too annoying).

So let's get on with it! I can't wait to see Paul McDonald and Twitch on the stage again. I've been waiting for this since they got voted off.

Why are both Lauren and Scotty dressed in all white? Are they trying to seem pure and clean? But he's Scotty McHottie...
Who is it going to be?
The Top 13 are singing Born This Way. I'm just so excited to see Paul! He looks so cute. God I love that man... His jacket is so frickin cool, and so is Twitch's jacket.
Yeah, I'm not even going to comment on the singing (it sounds terrible). But seeing Paul was the highlight for me, and everyone else, I'm sure.

James Durbin is performing with Judas Priest. How legendary is this?? Wow this must be so cool for Twitch!! I'm pretty much amazed they got Judas Priest for him. He's so in his zone, I love seeing our darling James like this. Plus, his jacket is rockin' and so is Judas Priest's singer's jacket. What an awesome performance (he really sounds good too)! I still can't believe America sent him home... Lame.
I kind of wish James were singing with Iggy Pop.
America, you'll miss me.
Montage of Randy Jackson, The Dawg. It was pretty hilarious. He's in it to win it!! What, what.

"Now let's bring out the guy who took us to church this season," says Ryan. Jacob "I Gyrate for Jesus" Lusk is singing with his hero. Jesus?! Wait...it's some gospel singer I don't know. I haven't missed this guy one bit (actually I take that back, I've missed mocking him). Jacob stuck to his regular shtick and made hilarious faces (while preaching to us). The only redeeming part of this song was that they were showing the number to donate to Red Cross for the tornado victims. That is really awesome.

Cabrams is performing! He looks rather sharp in his suit (but he grew out his hair and beard, not good). He's singing with Jack Black! This is so awesome and hilarious. This is a hilarious performance, and Casey and Jack actually sound rather good together. Especially when Casey starts scatting with Jack.
Best. Performance. Ever. (on American Idol)
I was so amused. I guarantee you I will watch that performance again after the show is over.

The Ladies of the Top 13 are performing next. Fun?
They have decided to destroy "Single Ladies." But, I can't help but feel like something is missing... Andy Samberg dancing in a leotard (that is necessary for any rendition of this song).
I guess this is actually a mash up of Beyoncé songs. All the girls look really skanky - stripper heels, short skirts, too many cut outs in shirts. My mom says they sound too "Glee," and my dad says "How could it not?" They really know what's up (seriously).
Whoa! Beyoncé is joining these lovely ladies to show (most of) them what talent really looks like. I love Beyoncé, she is too awesome for words.

Montage of Steven Tyler. He is nuts-o. They called him the loose cannon, but he was only like that during auditions and stuff, not the live shows. He is too funny.

Haley Reinhart is singing with Tony Bennett. My dad said, "He's about 180." Excellent. So this match-up is pretty awesome. I bet this wasn't Haley's first pick, but they sound really good together. Look, if I could've picked from the Top Three for who should win, it would be Haley (even from this performance, it's so clear she's more talented than Scotty and Lauren).

The most beautiful woman in the world, Jennifer Lopez, has a montage up next. She's excellent, and all the guys loved her (I'm pretty all the girls do too).

Lil Jon and the Top 13 girls! Guess who loves Lil Jon? Me. I know, it's shocking. But after seeing how awesome he is on The Celebrity Apprentice, I love this guy! That said, I'm not really a big fan of his music, but I like him as a person. This isn't entertaining with these two women I don't know. Weird.

Scotty da Body is singing "Live Like You're Dying" with Tim McGraw.
 This is gonna be awesome for our country boy (I want to see him wear a cowboy hat! Please). I realized Scotty has no clue what to do with his hands when performing, so he kind of does awkward things with them.
This is a really awesome performance. Scotty must be so excited that he's paired up with such a huge country star. I really like Tim McGraw.
My parents have been chatting about how he already has the makings of the star. It's very true! (He just needs to return to his fluting ways, it's undeniably awesome.)

We have that annoying announcer guy showing us clips of terrible singers we didn't see before. These people are hilarious.

Mark Anthony is performing. I'm guessing with JLo because she's not there. And I was right. I missed most of this performance, but it was pretty good for what I saw.

They're talking about being eliminated. Casey is hilarious, I adore this guy. Twitch and Cabrams "arguing" was super funny. I want to meet both of them. But not Pia, she's way too annoying (nice sash, sheesh).

Top 13 guys. Paul! I can hear his voice, and gosh I love him (sorry for all this gushing, I've just missed him). He's singing! My heart melted when he sang and did his charming dancing. Lordy I can't wait to see him in concert... Twitch sounds awesome, too. Why didn't this guy win? Please remind me?
I just remembered how much Paul hates choreographed dancing, and it's hilarious to watch him, because at times he just won't do it (or he'll look at the others to remember what to do).
Tom Jones is joining the boys. How fabulous. I could see him and Paul singing together. Speaking of PMcD, want to see a picture of him? You know you do.

How cool is this? Ford had the finalists invite their favorite teachers to the finale. That is super cool. And they got new Ford cars for their teachers! Really, really awesome. (As an aspiring teacher and someone who has been inspired by many teachers, this is amazing.)

Lady Gaga is performing live? This will be awesome. Look, I kind of love the Gagster, but what the eff is she wearing? That looks really heavy on her head. But, let me be honest, I really like this song... It's pretty catchy (and her voice is actually amazing!). She really knows how to put on a good show. This was awesome (and bizarre, but that's what makes her so appealing).

Lauren Alaina is up next with "Before He Cheats," probably singing with Miss Underwood.

Ugh, Lauren cannot sing this song correctly. I'm no music expert, but I know what sounds good and what doesn't. Carrie sounds amazing (as usual). To date, she's my second favorite Idol winner, David Cook is my first favorite. Or maybe they're tied...
This song was great. Why? Because Carrie Underwood was singing most of it.
Montage of the top 13 talking about Scotty and Lauren. Paul! They're all making fun of how old (or young) they are. Casey said we made him feel stupid, I'm sorry dear boy!

Beyoncé is singing again. And because she asked, I'll allow her to sing this song, "1 + 1" (or "One Plus One"). She informed us that doesn't know much about "algeba," and apparently not much about English, either. Look, I always adore Beyoncé because she's so awesome, but I had to mock her here.

I'm going to make a guess and say that I won't be seeing Paul sing with his idol (or his band, which I had secretly hoped for) tonight. Sad. Now there's really no reason for me to continue watching. But I will, for you, America.

Hey guess what! American Idol try outs are coming to my city. I think I'm going to try out, watch out for me.

I cannot believe they got U2. That is amazing. My friend just saw him in concert this past weekend and said it was awesome.
When Spiderman flew down, my dad said, "It's Bono!" And my mom said, "It is?" Classic. Spidey actually has a really good voice. But you can't match Bono, he has an amazing voice (it's just so stunning).

Steven Tyler is performing "Dream On." This is going to awesome! Guess what? If James hadn't been sent home in the top 4, he'd be on that stage with Mr. Tyler. But he's not. How disappointing. This was so awesome (I've always loved this song)!

Now it's time. The moment you've been waiting two hours (and a few months) for.
The winner is.......
Scotty McCreery
Thank the Sweet Lord Baby Jesus that Scotty da Body, Flute Extraordinaire is the winner of the 10th season of American Idol.
And guess who Scotty thanked first? The Lord. He got him to this place, not his fans, naturally.
Oh gosh, Scotty totally blew off Jack Black's hug. That was hilarious.

Whoa, whoa! I should add that it looked like Lauren Alaina kissed Scotty after they announced his win. I'm going to start the rumor that they're dating.

Congratulations, young man, you deserve this. You're very talented and will be a huge country star. Soak it all in!


I'm your winner, America. And you will love me.
So that's how it ends, folks. With Scotty McCreery as our winner. I'll see ya'll this summer on tour! Good night.

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