I Caved... I Watched "The Voice"

So, America, I did it. I can't believe it and I'm almost a little disappointed in myself for watching "The Voice." But, I decided to try it out (despite my fears of falling in love with another contestant, like P McD), and let me dissect it...

Firstly, I still don't understand the whole judge/coach thing. I asked the other person in the room I'm in about the whole concept, and she said they aren't really judges, but they're all coaches. And then they help the singers with being good, and then THEY eliminate the singers. America doesn't vote (which is the awesome part about American Idol), and why would anyone want to watch that?

Secondly, the judges/coaches.

(Blake Shelton is totally checking out Christina.)
Christina Aguilera kind of annoys me. We get, Christina! The point of the show is the blind auditions, so stop saying it every tome. Sheesh. This had to be said. Cee Lo Green is too cool for school. Blake Shelton is pretty rad, but I'm indifferent. Adam Levine is HOT (I pretty much watched the show to see him).

Thirdly and Lastly, the contestants. Look, I wasn't impressed by anyone last night. I was feeling rather cynical, and I hated that the auditions aren't a capella like in American Idol. Also, every contestant sounded bad, at least to me. They all tried to be original, and failed.
Breaking it down by contestant:
Serabee: This was just the first name I remembered. Terrible name. And she looked like a hippie.
Gay Guy in a Blazer Like P McD's aka Tyler Robinson: He was the only good one of the night. I really liked him, and it may or may not have been because he's gay.

Raquel: I compared her too much to Leona Lewis, so I wasn't impressed.
Nakia: He looked rather neanderthal-ish, and I wasn't blown away by his voice, but rather by his beard.

Devon Barley: His voice annoyed the crap out of me, it was very nasal-y. He was trying way too hard to be original, and ended up making me plug my ears. Sorry, broski.

Girls that Sang Miranda Lambert: Come on! Blake Shelton is her fiancè, why would you even think of singing her songs? Really bad choice, since Mr. Shelton didn't pick ya'll.

As you can probably tell, I wasn't a huge fan (but I'll probably watch again next week). Oh, and I just learned that NBC totally ripped this show off from Holland. Come on.
Tonight I'll post about the true talent show, American Idol. Buckle up, America.